Visiting WAGI today!

When I think about Christmas and all that is wrapped up into this one day of celebration.

Life.

Sacrifice.

Commitment.

Favor.

I am not only overwhelmed that God himself chose to take human-form in the greatest redemption plan ever..

But I am also humbled by the excruciating commitment of Mary and Joseph. The heart-wrenching uncertainty Mary must have faced before sharing the news with Joseph. The confusion and heartbreak of Joseph which was ultimately replaced by compelling commitment and love.

The threads of adoption interwoven into the very fabric of our salvation.

Our adoption into the Kingdom.

Joseph's adoption of Jesus.

It fills me with gratitude...

Today? I'm over at We Are Grafted In talking more about that!  Go show me some love and check it out!!
(And if you're visiting for WAGI, Welcome! I hope you stick around a while!) :)

Don't forget about the awesome Giveaway that ends today! Go HERE to make your donations before midnight tonight and Stay Tuned!

Winner will be announced tomorrow!! Yay!

31 Families of Hope!

Today you can find me over at Reaching Hearts for their "31 Families of HOPE" series as I talk a little about our adoption journey!

 
If you are joining us from 31 Nuggets, Welcome!!!  Feel free to look around and while you're here please check out our Giveaway going on right now and consider partnering with us as we journey to our next child...and if that isn't incentive enough? The prize isn't too bad either ;-)

A great link: Bring out the tissues.

I am usually emotional watching adoption videos.

But I am certainly far more vulnerable to those emotions when looking at my sweet girl's face.

You'll know exactly what I am talking about when you link over to my friend Lauren's blog and check their video out!

P.S. I wonder who I could get to video us meeting Bedako for the first time? =)

We need your help!

This is one of my dearest friends. They have been in the process of adopting a child (off and on) for several years and due to some more "traditional" family changes, it had gotten moved back a couple time times...

But NOW? They have been matched! What an amazing, jubilant, time in their lives! Their sweet little baby is going to be born sometime around Christmas. The BM's story is a difficult one, one that has brought her to the place of realizing that she can't raise this child, but not one that's beyond the grace or abundant love of our Heavenly Father! And we are praying and believing for a huge transformation in this young girl's life as well.

So, here is the scoop!

My friends are on a mad-dash selling shirts. They need a HUGE sum of money in the next week (HUGE, people!) but I have seen those whose hearts are for the orphans come together time and time again to work to set these children in families!

This is one of those times! This is SO important, people! So important, in fact, that I am going to add another level to this.

If you buy a shirt from the Wards and leave a comment on this post, I will enter you to win a Journey of Love item (anything we currently make/sell).
(P.S. I have a habit of awarding extra stuff as well so don't let the "one winner" thing stop you!)

If you share this post on your blog, you get an additional entry.

Facebook? Twitter? Another entry for those as well!

That's three entries for one shirt purchase and an additional entry for each additional shirt bought!

YOU MUST LINK BACK TO THIS POST TO GET CREDIT =)

We can do this, friends! The body of Christ can come together in perfect unity and display the love of our Father (the one who adopted us out of darkness) to this amazing family!!!!


Please do what you can to help!

Don't forget to order your t-shirt HERE--then leave a comment to have your name added to the drawing!

Jewelry for a GREAT cause!!

Hop on over to my friend Kelly's blog to see an awesome way you can support widows and orphans! It's an amazing story and one that [even] I (dollar jewelry fiend  addict  connoisseur) couldn't resist!

For more pictures, check out her other site,  We Are Grafted In!

Join with us!

The timing of God never ceases to amaze me. In my frustration and anxiety, I had forgotten an aspect of my faith that has always proven to strengthen my spirit-man and draw me closer again to Him. So imagine my surprise when reading blogs this morning, I stumbled across THIS call.


When we are joyful and excited, we are not the only people on the earth experiencing that emotion. But sometimes we forget that when we feel discouraged and downtrodden, we are also...not. alone.


After reading Lyndsey's post, I was more certain than ever that this attack of the enemy is not specific to me but rather is an attack on the hope and confidences we have in God to quickly unite our families!


So let's stand together this week. Let's resolve that this attack of the enemy is thwarted, not only for us as individuals, but for us as a corporate body! Nothing makes the enemy happier than hope deferred. Regardless of how it looks.... So let's join with the heart of the Father and stand strong against these attacks that discourage our hearts and confidence.


"Fasting is our body joining with our soul to cry out to God in response to disaster, lack of love or holiness or compassion, the impoverished in the world, sin, death, or the absence of justice or peace or love. Fasting is our bodies NATURAL response to 'grievous sacred moments' in life."

Will you join with us in  a 24 hour fast beginning after dinner on Thursday and lasting through dinner on Friday?

Giveaway Opportunity

Hello fellow AP's out there!!!! Can I get a "Woot woot" for Fridays?!?!

*tap*  *tap*

Is this thing on?

*cough*

Well, anyways.......

Check out A Bushel and a Peck today for an incredible giveaway opportunity!

It's Dr. Karen Purvis.

Enough said.


P.S. If you are somewhere warm? Enjoy the sunshine for me this weekend..It's colder than Alaska where I live. No really...it was colder than Alaska yesterday...we beat them by 15 degrees. And their temperature was 3.

{Support Adoption}

Can I just say that [aside from our babies] the best part of adoption-world is the community of families! I am so looking forward to the gathering next weekend so I can meet more families and catch up with some I already know I love!!! Here is an awesome post from one of those "already know I love" waiting-mommas (not officially yet, but close) =)) She took the time to really outline some great fundraisers out there.

If you can't figure out how to "help" the global orphan crisis....you can start by supporting adoption. I read a shirt today that said 'Adoption isn't for wimps' and that is the TRUTH. While I am soverythankful that we [as a community] support each other.....I really believe that it's time for other believers to start supporting these families, too!!!

So check out this list of adoption fundraisers and while you are there, check out the Habudas own fundraising efforts!

P.S. Thanks Sarah for your oh-so-kind shout out! It made my morning =)

Fellow Family Fundraiser

Hi Blog family, friends, followers...and lurkers. You know who you are.

Check out a fellow adoptive family's most recent fundraiser. The O'Neals are patiently  (who's kidding who) waiting for their I-171H so they can turn in their Dossier and get on that waiting list!! There are raising funds for the next big piece due and it's so easy to help them! What's $5 anyways??

Want more info? Check out their BLOG to buy a few puzzle pieces =)

3: The number of people in our family.

Also the number of months we have been waiting for you. So to commemorate this moment, I have devised our "Top 3" lists...because, honestly, if we get to 10...I am positive  I won't be in the mood for lightheartedness =).

Top 3 things you will learn to love:

** Music/Singing/Worship/Making 80's jingles out of billboards.

** Arkansas Razorbacks: Specifically football though we won't complain if you also support other sports

** Festivals: We frequent most of them...year-round.

Top 3 things you should have aversions to:

** LSU (Sorry LA friends...It is what it is)

** Ole' Miss: You're too young to know the details but regardless.....

** Prius'

Top 3 things you'll eat (and love):

** Your mommy's lemon chicken.  It's her signature (Don't break your mommy's heart)

** Smith Family Trash Can. Your daddy's specialty

** Homemade queso and salsa

Top 3 books we can't wait to read with you:

** Madeline (Mommy's favorite)

** Goodnight Moon

** Hungry Hungry Caterpillar

Top 3 things we can't wait to do with you:

** Cuddle

** Play games

** Give lots and lots of kisses!

Top 3 things we want to tell you:

** We love you!

** We love you!

** We love you!

iPod Touch, anyone?

My very-good-lovely-Ethiopia-momma-in-waiting-friend Randee...uh, and her husband, Trace, too.. just opened an awesome raffle opportunity. All of the money goes toward their adoption...which, let's face it...isn't cheap. So, if you salivate over the idea of having a super-cool-technologically-savvy-toy like this iPod touch....as I do (I am sure that I am the only one in the raffle who sees the benefits of Veggie Tales videos on the 22-hour flights home for Africa)?, or if Christmas is right around the corner (Oh yes...yes, it is) and you have someone so hard to shop for that gift-giving feels like beating your head with a meat tenderizer?? then THIS is the raffle for you.

P.S. Baby Jones is going to be Baby Smith's Ethiopian Cousin, so if nothing else suits your fancy, do it for Baby Smith =))

Enter the raffle HERE

Great Link: Giveaway

The Raudenbush Family Blog

Hey Ya'll! Check out this site for an awesome giveaway opportunity. 

Not interested in winning a custom Chinese character charm or Ethiopian charm/magnet set??? 

Just throw another entry in for me...

See?? Win-Win =)

No Grace for "What If?"

I wanted to take a minute and encourage each of you to read this post I got my hands on today about handling those "What If?" moments in life.

It helped put things into perspective. Because, I? am the world's worst at playing the "What If?" game. I not only play it to change things that have happened, but I eventually move towards the fears of what "might" happen.

Lately, has been worse. After Norman dying so unexpectedly, I repeatedly play through different scenarios that might have changed the outcome of that day. 

"What if I hadn't gone to work, he'd have never gone outside alone that morning?"

"What if Jeremiah had bought those ribs to smoke, he might have been outside to notice something?"

And more. Many, many more. But I know in my spirit that probably nothing would have changed the outcome...

And that wondering doesn't do "healing" any good at all...

And that knowing? wouldn't bring me peace.

See? I know all that stuff.

But, for some reason, I really struggled with praying about it. I'm not gonna lie,  I didn't ask for peace for days. I didn't ask God why it was so important that we learn THIS lesson at THIS time in THIS way? Not at first anyways....

At first? I let my mind wander...to places it never should have gone.  Places of fear... Thinking about accidents that I have heard of happening to children...Those "unexpected" happenings...Happenings that I won't even address specifically because I refuse to breed this thing to any of ya'll 

(Wouldn't the devil just LOVE that!). 

But, as I think about my future as a mom...I imagine this is an area I will always need to keep close watch on. Because it's our nature (our NATURAL nature) as women  to worry...to fret...to wonder...

But its MY [SUPER]natural nature to trust in God to give grace to whatever situation I come into. To walk me through the REAL moments in my life. To paint my life as a beautiful mural...even if there are some patches of black paint.

That's what I hold on to, today.

P.S.Check out GirlTalk for the full devotional. For real, ya'll.

Another Great Link!

     Sometimes, I run across blog posts that I just can't help but want to pass along. This was one of those posts. Being married to a worship leader. Being a young couple pursuing God together and dreaming of a place where our children are not only gripped by the presence of God but are RUINED by him, we find our struggles to "fit in" can cause great grief  in our lives. It's no person's fault. We just have a yearning in us that can't be suppressed. We NEED more of God. We recognize, not only the requirement of our own responses to Him, but also of the critical necessity of corporate response.
    In a time when I feel like a stranger in a foreign land. A fish out of water. A man without a home? Messages like this renew my resolve that God would not place a vision that He does not intend to bring forth. And I am reminded? That is is better to fail for the sake of a cause that will ultimately succeed than to succeed for a cause that is destined to fail!

World Revival Church: Worship Pastor Dustin Smith

Friday, January 29, 2010     Do what you say!

I was watching some "Christian" tv the other night and they were singing some worship song that is pretty familiar to just about everyone (thank you Time Life!).  The band sounded great and the worship leader was singing his heart out but when they showed a shot of the crowd the response was disappointing.  At some point I will talk about the strength of corporate worship but what got my attention was not that nothing corporately seemed to be happening but that there was no response from the congregation at all.  I guess I  take that back.  There was something corporately happening ~ NOTHING! They were singing songs that talked about shouting, singing, bowing, lifting hands and they were doing none of it!

It reminded me of the scripture in Ezekiel 33:30, 30 "Son of man, your people are whispering behind your back. They talk about you in their houses and whisper about you at the doors, saying, 'Come on, let's have some fun! Let's go hear the prophet tell us what the LORD is saying! 31So they come pretending to be sincere and sit before you listening. But they have no intention of doing what I tell them. They express love with their mouths, but their hearts seek only after money. 32 You are very entertaining to them, like someone who sings love songs with a beautiful voice or plays fine music on an instrument. They hear what you say, but they don't do it." How many Worship Leaders and Pastors are having this very same thing happen to them every week?  I do not get the feeling that God was happy that they at least "showed up" to church.  He was expecting some response.  He is looking for people who do what they say. 

Our worship songs are full of responses toward God but do we just speak them or do we do them?  Would you be able to get away treating your spouse the same way you treat God?  For example, when you come home from a long day and your spouse comes to hug, do you say, "Honey can you hug me in about twenty minutes?  You can not expect me to be at work all day and then jump right into being with you the minute I walk in the door.  Give me a chance to get acclimated to your presence"?  Do you tell your spouse, "I know you want me to show you I love you outwardly but it is not my personality, just know that even though I don't show it on the outside I am showing I love in my heart"?  Do you tell your spouse, "I can't wait to be with you tonight", and then the whole time you are with them you are looking at your watch wishing you were somewhere else or even worse with someone else?  Real relationships would not survive the abuse most people on their relationship with God.

Remember, GOD IS REAL so worship Him like He is!!!

Answers to Questions

Catchy title, no? Can't help but wonder:

"What questions?" and even more importantly "What answers?"

Last week, I posted about some struggles I had been having being posted as a "Question of the week" on a blog I follow! I was thrilled at the prospect of getting a wealth of wisdom from those who had gone before me!

And, boy oh boy...They did NOT disappoint. No.They did not.

I encourage EVERYONE to take some time and read this week's Answers to Tuesday Topic Question because the hearts of these mommas will not leave you wishing for more!

So, if you love me at all....

Or, if you simply have a few questions of your own about adoption....

Or, you don't know much about it whatsoever...

Or, if like me, you would give your right arm for some Buttered Popcorn flavored Jelly Belly candies right now... (I'm left-handed, by the way)

Then take a few minutes and read through some of these Mommas thoughts on addressing a pretty touchy topic! Soak it all in, because whether you are adopting, or you know someone who is..These are good tips for all of us to remember.

I will leave you with this little nugget that especially touched my heart:

"“We really feel that this is the path that God has us on, to build our family, and that even biological children are not our “own”…all children are God’s and we are just His steward’s of them for the time we have them… so no child is truly mine…!, Since God is the one who gives us the capacity to love anyone….He is able to work within us the same love for an adopted child as He is for a biological child!"

 

Well ,there you have it...

 

Til the sun shines again and the rain stops destroying my attempts at straight hair,

*Ashley Lou*

Can I Just Say...

Can I just say that--as Mondays go-- I am more excited than I think I have EVER been about Monday?

Is there an approved homestudy coming in? No.

Am I going to be able to splurge form this ridiculously restrictive diet and eat ice cream again? Unfortunately No.

Am I FINALLY getting my kitchen and dining room tiled? Double-Unfortunately No.

But.

BUT.

I AM going to get a wealth of wisdom that I only hope I can carry with me for the next year...er...18 years...er.. lifetime.

You see, I have been dealing with a heart issue lately, and finally, FINALLY, I broke down and asked for help. Asked for wisdom from those who have gone before me...And my question was posted to a really LARGE community of adoptive parents! And MONDAY?

Well, Monday, the responses-- you know, from all those wise AP's who have gone before me?--will be posted! You can read my question (about adoption) HERE! And, don't you worry, I will post the responses when they come out Monday!!

Until then, remember this:

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."
-Jeffrey R. Holland

I'm still expecting mine,

*Ashley Lou*


Disclaimer: I just want to make sure ya'll know (especially if you read my posted question) that I have NEVER doubted anyone's heart or intentions...I just know how it makes me feel and that I really have no idea how to address it! But for those of you with questions about our adoption journey?? Bring 'em on! =)

Consequences

During the trek we have taken through international waters adoption, unfamiliar terrain, and all things unknown-to-us...some of the most interesting concepts have been those directed at discipline. Obviously, MOST in the social-work/psychology field are adamantly opposed to spanking. Interestingly, MOST of my Christian friends/parents wish they never had to spank. So, taking those things into account, and learning about the different issues facing disciplining a child with attachment/development issues or simply a child who was institutionalized--I have begun my list of "Things To Try". I don't claim to know it all anything at all about anything at all.....But I find that USUALLY someone has already invented the wheel, I just have to make it FIT my vehicle! 

That said, I recently read--and LOVED--The Connected Child by Dr. Karen Purvis. The approach is founded in the fact that isolation and physical discipline may be (not with every child) the worst things you can do to a child who was institutionalized... Because even though, you are disciplining in LOVE and even if YOU never struggled with bonding to your child? Your child might have. And these things may (not always--nothing is a perfect science) cause a child with a hard-history to digress.

Wow. Those are tough words to digest. Especially when we--The Husband and I-- had always agreed that spanking, in the right attitude and principle, was an acceptable form of discipline. And I am not even saying we disagree with that, now. But? If I can implement discipline patterns that WORK and that might minimize that form of punishment...who wouldn't? From what I gather...no one really ENJOYS spanking anyways, right?

So, my point is that, in my studies...I have made it my goal to consider all methods. I may not agree with everything. Or anything a person says for that matter. I may finish reading and decide that that method they support? Is the most bogus thing I have ever heard. But I do that? Only after FIRST considering it.

I LOVE Tonggu Momma. I think I may have mentioned that before. And I love the honesty with which she approaches the issues she has had raising a daughter from a tough-history. And I learn from her. ALOT. So, as I commonly do, I read through old posts and? Good Grief! It was like she wrote This One  JUST. FOR. ME! One of the alternative forms of discipline that I have become inceasingly intrigued with are the "Charts". Charts are commonly used to reinforce the right behaviors by implementing consequences for each wrong behavior. The charts themselves, allow the child to have constant access to the cause-and-effect of their actions by seeing what the consequence for each will be. And while I have been interested in these methods? Until today, I had yet to find an option with Biblical foundation!

So, that's why I am so excited about these charts! Tonggu Momma addresses all the issues she has with Biblical consequences that reinforce the RIGHT behaviors. And honestly, I think these MIGHT work for ALL children---Not just those from hard places! What a delight! 

So...I encourage you, today, to:

Take....Consider...& Enjoy.

Ashley

Tonggu Momma's Behavior Chart

Guest Author: Raising Up Missionaries

Guest Author: Raising Up Missionaries

Posted using ShareThis

A great post I read recently on Creating A Family.org...

You Know You Are Ready to Start Thinking About Maybe the Possibility of Adoption When…

by Dawn

Dawn, over at Fertility Authority , asked me to write something for them on how to know when you’re ready to start exploring adoption. She didn’t want this to be, a “Here’s how you know you’re ready to adopt” article, but rather a “How you know when you’re ready to even THINK about it.”  She also asked that I keep it to 300 words—Ha, like that’s going to ever happen!?!.

It’s only fair to start by saying that lots of folks who find they are struggling with conception are open to adoption from the very beginning.  Their first choice may be to get pregnant, but they are mulling over adoption while they try.  It’s also fair to point out that others will never be ready to think about adoption.  Their Plan B if trying to conceive fails is to make peace with living child free.  But indeed, there are lots of people who fall in between, so here goes.
You Know You Are Ready to Start Thinking About Maybe the Possibility of Adoption When…

1. You find yourself noticing families that don’t obviously match and wondering if they were created by adoption.
2. You make note that these families act kind of like other families.
3. You make a second note that these families, especially the parents, look happy.
4. The thought of the next step up the infertility treatment ladder seems daunting, and fills you with weariness rather than hope.
5. When you hear of the tragedy in Haiti, rather than just thinking “How sad”, you think “Hey, there may be kids who need parents, and here we are parents-in-waiting who need kids.  Humm, I wonder???”
6. Just the tiniest little piece of you is more curious than afraid of the thought of adopting, while the rest of you is still terrified and feels like adoption would be giving up.
7. You listen to all the Creating a Family radio shows instead of skipping the adoption related shows.
8. You start to find those lists of famous adopted people fascinating. Who knew that Steve Jobs and Faith Hill were adopted?  They even seem pretty normal.
9. Your ears prick up when you hear that an infertility friend adopted. You don’t necessarily ask questions, but you don’t avoid listening to the talk.  You even find yourself reading the adoption posts on the infertility forums you frequent.
10. You start considering that there is a point where you may have to say “no” to more treatment.

Hey, the list is only 253 words! And you didn’t think I had brevity in me, did you?

A re-post I thought you all would enjoy

This post is from one of the Ethiopian Adoption blogs I stalk read on a regular basis. I thought that, while there are specific implications when looking at it from an adoption perspective...we can all get better at "living in a life of gray". I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! If you like this, you can follow this amazing family @ http://abushel-and-apeck.blogspot.com

It is always difficult for Dimples when things don't go as she anticipates. Changes in routine, menu, wardrobe, etc. are all challenging for her and very keenly felt, which has resulted in overly dramatic responses. If you have a child like this, you know exactly what I'm talking about. In a recent appointment, Deborah talked to Dimples about the idea that life is not "All or Nothing". In Dimples' mind, it is all black and white, so one of our healing tasks is to help her learn to live comfortably in a life of gray.

For example, in the past, when it was time to set the table, Dimples might ask to set the plates, but if I had already told one of the other children they could do the plates, drama ensued. She wasn't able to accept that there was another job that just might be okay as well. Now we practice saying, "It's not what I want, but it is okay." Or, if we were reading a book and another child was sitting on my lap, she couldn't cope with that, and disrupted all of us. If she couldn't be happily sitting on my lap, nobody could be happy at all.

When a child is an orphan and a survivor, she can't afford to think, "If I get a little and they get a little, it's okay. There is plenty to go around." In reality, there may not be plenty at all. Or, when the nanny opens the clothing cupboard for the children to get dressed, the little girl can't think to herself, "If I wait sweetly and patiently, I just might get that pink dress that I love so much." No, she rushes to the front, smiling her cutest fake smile, hoping to attract the nanny's attention, and pleading, oh so sweetly, for the pink dress.

Then we place this child, who has learned to be a survivor, in a family, and we wonder why she can't take turns, and why she gets so agitated as the food is being passed around the table. And why, oh why, does she wail when she can't wear the pink shirt that is in the laundry today?

So we practice coping with disappointment. We say, "It's okay if I can't wear my pink shirt today. I have a green one that I also like." Or, "It's okay if Ladybug puts the plates on the table, I can put the glasses on, and that is a fun job too."

If you have a child who completely falls apart when things don't go her way, who has reactions that are completely out of proportion with the situation, who can't accept changes in plans and is crushed by the simplest change, do not lose heart. Practice living comfortably in a life of gray. Role play situations where things don't go quite right and help her to find phrases that she can grasp and use.

Most recently, we are working on this with Dimples regarding school. She wants to do it all perfectly, which isn't possible. She also wants to do it all very quickly, which tends to have an inverse relationship with doing it perfectly. Each week she has a spelling test on Thursday and if she gets 100%, she is exempt from the test on Friday. She builds this up in her mind, but unfortunately, spelling is challenging for her. She has not gotten 100% on a Thursday yet. We adults know that this is not a big deal, but to her, it is black and white. Anything short of 100% is failure.

Our most recent phrase is, "Every week I do my best."

If a little extra help is needed, we rock in the rocking chair, we chew a piece of gum, or we take a few deep breaths. Jumping on the trampoline is good for resetting emotions as well.

This is nothing earth shattering, just one more thing we are learning along the way. Dimples is getting so much better at this and we are very, very proud of her.