Dawn, over at Fertility Authority , asked me to write something for them on how to know when you’re ready to start exploring adoption. She didn’t want this to be, a “Here’s how you know you’re ready to adopt” article, but rather a “How you know when you’re ready to even THINK about it.” She also asked that I keep it to 300 words—Ha, like that’s going to ever happen!?!.It’s only fair to start by saying that lots of folks who find they are struggling with conception are open to adoption from the very beginning. Their first choice may be to get pregnant, but they are mulling over adoption while they try. It’s also fair to point out that others will never be ready to think about adoption. Their Plan B if trying to conceive fails is to make peace with living child free. But indeed, there are lots of people who fall in between, so here goes.
You Know You Are Ready to Start Thinking About Maybe the Possibility of Adoption When…
- You find yourself noticing families that don’t obviously match and wondering if they were created by adoption.
- You make note that these families act kind of like other families.
- You make a second note that these families, especially the parents, look happy.
- The thought of the next step up the infertility treatment ladder seems daunting, and fills you with weariness rather than hope.
- When you hear of the tragedy in Haiti, rather than just thinking “How sad”, you think “Hey, there may be kids who need parents, and here we are parents-in-waiting who need kids. Humm, I wonder???”
- Just the tiniest little piece of you is more curious than afraid of the thought of adopting, while the rest of you is still terrified and feels like adoption would be giving up.
- You listen to all the Creating a Family radio shows instead of skipping the adoption related shows.
- You start to find those lists of famous adopted people fascinating. Who knew that Steve Jobs and Faith Hill were adopted? They even seem pretty normal.
- Your ears prick up when you hear that an infertility friend adopted. You don’t necessarily ask questions, but you don’t avoid listening to the talk. You even find yourself reading the adoption posts on the infertility forums you frequent.
- You start considering that there is a point where you may have to say “no” to more treatment.