Sunday, January 24, 2010

Meaningless, Meaningless...Everything is meaningless....

I have so much on my mind right now, I can't even formulate the words. Sometimes life pushes you right up to the edge where you have no choice but to remember that, in the great words of Solomon, "Everything is meaningless". I wish I had chosen a life without all the things that now tie me down. that keep me from being able to re-evaluate what is really important by just picking up and  moving to a third-world country for a few months...or even just Kansas City. It seems that, in life, it takes far longer to pick up stakes than it ever took to plant them......

3 comments:

Jen said...

I hear that!
This is probably not exactly what you were talking about...but last night I was laying in bed listing off all the things I'm responsible for. 10 different things at church, 6 different things at the kids school, 4 different jobs, etc.... and I told Matt, if I could only cross some stuff OFF this list, I could begin to LIVE life again...but it's very hard to UN-commit. People depend on me. They know I'll "say yes." I'm dependable--(which is a good thing for them and PRESSURE for me). Anyway, we've done some talking about moving in the last few months. It's not really anything I think we'd ACTUALLY do...but it's frustrating feeling like I'd be letting EVERYBODY down if we ever wanted to move. I mean, I KNOW I'm not THAT important (HA!) but I do know there are a LOT of things that would get pushed aside if I wasn't there to do them. Ahhh....anyway....I think I get what you were saying and meaning in this post. Matt even said, " if we moved, you could make life different for yourself at the new place." I said, "HA! It would only be a SHORT matter of time before I was in the same predicament in the new city. I know myself and as much as I wish I would do things differently, I also think I have some kind of disease. It's called the "yes disease". Ha ha! No, I have a servents heart for sure and I LOVE to be a blessing to others, but I have to figure out where to draw the line so that I'm not doing that at the cost of my own family. They need their (wife) (momma) (daughter) too!
Love ya girl!
Thanks for the comment on my blog! And btw, Dillards had an AMAZING sale on AWESOME heels last week. $5 a pair (for $90 shoes!!) You'd be so proud. :o)

Donna Foster said...

I am in the same boat! New ER job, continuing with school, loss of a pet all in one month's time. I, too am trying to quiet my mind so my actions can catch up. Trying too hard leads to more confusion so I am going to work on meditating and asking for divine intervention to quiet the whirlpool of my thoughts.

Rene' said...

really...what's stopping you? If you want to go...go. You can take a leave of absence from work or find a new job when u return. School can be picked up when u return. Church will go on. One day I overheard my boss say to someone (who was complaining that they couldn't take a day off because we were too busy and "what would we all do if so&so wasn't there to help") "well, what would u have done if so&so had called in sick?" The point is... sometimes unavoidable things happen and everyone elso makes do and goes on, and steps up to the plate. So if its not "unavoidable" but actually a "choice" what is the difference? If u think u are letting everyone down and they can't go on without u, u need to realize they will figure it out and get by. If u want to go somewhere u should do what your desires are.

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