I know it may seem like I couldn't possibly understand...try to bear with me. It wasn't that long ago that I walked those same hallways. Only yesterday that I was dealing with so many of the horrific painful struggles that you are dealing with today.
And I can't help but think it's not fair...
Not fair that every bad choice you make in this season of finding yourself? is potentially broadcast to the world.
Not fair that society has opened up entire new worlds of vulnerability and destructive opportunities.
Not fair that-- as you're blossoming into adults and traversing all that this season requires of you-- you're also required to think about how every decision you make today might affect your life in 15 years...
But listen.
Life has ALWAYS been that way. I am sure if our mothers could have blogged, they would have blogged their bewilderness over our feather pens, knee-high socks and mary-janes...Our music and dance styles....
Please don't ask. You don't want to know.
So when I ask to trust me that this season is fleeting? Well, that's nothing new.
Which is why that's not what I'm going to do.
Instead? I'm going to tell you a story.
This is a story about a girl who walked through some hard stuff. Humiliating stuff. Painful stuff. Vulnerable stuff.
The stuff of private letters being passed through the halls. The stuff of inadequacy. The hurts of not being wanted...Oh, how we just want to be wanted...
This is a girl who lived in a small pond... in a house made of glass. Where nothing was hidden and no-one was safe.
This girl who felt like she was trapped in a room with all her imperfections and mistakes and shortcomings screaming at her from the walls closing in around her.
This girl who wanted what she thought everyone else had. Perfection.
This girl...who thought that this was her story. That if she couldn't succeed here? She'd never succeed anywhere.
But this girl, with all this insecurity? Came out of the forest that is High School and found herself stronger, wiser, confident, and sure of the person she wanted to be...
And at the end of the day, that is what you're doing.
You're deciding each day what kind of human being you are going to choose to be in this life.
How are you going to treat other human beings?
What is going to be important to you?
Who are you going to be?
And what legacy are you going to leave?
It may feel impossible to find your way in the dark place that High School can be....
But remember....this is a shadow... a small shadow of a small tree in a small forest that feels immense today.
Because the life you are intended to live will put all those insecurities on a back shelf of memories that made you stronger.
Because the person you have the chance to be is brave and courageous and would never allow another person to determine how you feel or what you accomplish.
Because, God isn't looking at your circumstances...At this season of your life, thinking to himself.
"Oh no, I picked the wrong girl"
Who's to say that this very thing isn't the propeller that pushes you into the next great season of you life? Who's to say that your most beautiful thing isn't right around the next corner...if you can only hold on.
So here I am, a gangly and homely 14 year old girl who desperately wanted acceptance...begging you to hang on.
Hang on for dear life.
And discover yours along the way.
1 comments:
this is good :)
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