During the trek we have taken through international
waters adoption, unfamiliar terrain, and all things unknown-to-us...some of the most interesting concepts have been those directed at discipline. Obviously, MOST in the social-work/psychology field are adamantly opposed to spanking. Interestingly, MOST of my Christian friends/parents wish they never had to spank. So, taking those things into account, and learning about the different issues facing disciplining a child with attachment/development issues or simply a child who was institutionalized--I have begun my list of "Things To Try". I don't claim to know it all anything at all about anything at all.....But I find that USUALLY someone has already invented the wheel, I just have to make it FIT my vehicle!
That said, I recently read--and LOVED--The Connected Child by Dr. Karen Purvis. The approach is founded in the fact that isolation and physical discipline may be (not with every child) the worst things you can do to a child who was institutionalized... Because even though, you are disciplining in LOVE and even if YOU never struggled with bonding to your child? Your child might have. And these things may (not always--nothing is a perfect science) cause a child with a hard-history to digress.
Wow. Those are tough words to digest. Especially when we--The Husband and I-- had always agreed that spanking, in the right attitude and principle, was an acceptable form of discipline. And I am not even saying we disagree with that, now. But? If I can implement discipline patterns that WORK and that might minimize that form of punishment...who wouldn't? From what I gather...no one really ENJOYS spanking anyways, right?
So, my point is that, in my studies...I have made it my goal to consider all methods. I may not agree with everything. Or anything a person says for that matter. I may finish reading and decide that that method they support? Is the most bogus thing I have ever heard. But I do that? Only after FIRST considering it.
I LOVE Tonggu Momma. I think I may have mentioned that before. And I love the honesty with which she approaches the issues she has had raising a daughter from a tough-history. And I learn from her. ALOT. So, as I commonly do, I read through old posts and? Good Grief! It was like she wrote This One JUST. FOR. ME! One of the alternative forms of discipline that I have become inceasingly intrigued with are the "Charts". Charts are commonly used to reinforce the right behaviors by implementing consequences for each wrong behavior. The charts themselves, allow the child to have constant access to the cause-and-effect of their actions by seeing what the consequence for each will be. And while I have been interested in these methods? Until today, I had yet to find an option with Biblical foundation!
So, that's why I am so excited about these charts! Tonggu Momma addresses all the issues she has with Biblical consequences that reinforce the RIGHT behaviors. And honestly, I think these MIGHT work for ALL children---Not just those from hard places! What a delight!
So...I encourage you, today, to: