Saturday, November 12, 2011


I have been incredibly humbled by the outpouring of support and love for us as we grieve the loss of our daughter.

The past few days have not been easy.
One friend commented that this situation is one of the "worst of the worst" in adoption. I couldn't agree more.

The next few days and weeks probably won't be much easier.

But, we know that this too shall pass.

These feelings of loss? This overwhelming sadness? The gaping whole in our hearts and lives?

Will eventually heal.

I don''t understand why God introduced this child into my heart and life if I wasn't to be her mother.

I don't know when this searing pain in my heart will begin healing.

and I am filled with consuming confusion and grief over why He would let this would happen..

But I know that if I have the strength enough to hand over my sorrow to God...that He will turn it (someday) into joy.  

I know that if I give Him my bleeding, broken heart...That he will take my mourning and replace it with dancing.

You changed my mourning into dancing. You took off my funeral clothes and dressed me up in joy   Psalm 30:11 (CEB)

My confidence is not in the things of this world. 

My hope is not in what man will/will not do.  

My faith is not diminished in the face of grief and loss.

This will take time.

But, much to my dismay, I have a lot of that now....

Thank you for all of your encouraging comments, text messages, emails, phone messages and most of all Your Prayers. I feel them.

I really do.


Ashley said...

Maybe God knows that this little girl will need your prayers for the rest of her life. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Praying for you often.

Stephanie M said...

Oh my. Although we only met one time I have been praying for you during this journey and this news breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. I will pray for you and your husband.

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