May 21, 2010 = 5 Years

I have NO IDEA why I feel the urge to post this. I am definitely NOT a romantic, nor am I an accomplished poet... Maybe because I am so proud of the fact that we are hitting that 5 year mark, basically unscathed... Or maybe it's been the thrush of poetry that I have been inspired by... But whatever the reason, I feel the need to post this poem that I wrote The Husband not long after we were engaged...(mind you, this is only the second poem I have ever written--the first being for my BFF in high school for our senior yearbook page). Anyways, here it is...For my love (don't gag, ya'll.... you'll be alright)...

As long as I have lived

My heart belonged to you

With every starry night

And mornings bright and new

A love so pure and true

No other could compare

I thank God every morning

For an answer to my prayers

I could never put down in prose

How you make me come alive

An emotion so deep within me

That words could not describe

I can only try to express to you

The love that grows in me

Deeper and more passionate

Your love has set me free

My hero and my soul mate

My protector and my friend

I promise I will love you

Until the very end.

The Most Danderous Place

Statistically speaking, the bathroom is the most dangerous place in a home. Most of  the statistics and articles show that this is especially true for the elderly. Every hour, an older person DIES because of a slip and fall in the bathroom.

You might be thinking "Why are you telling us this nonsense, Ashley?" right about now....

Here's why...

The scene of the accident.

Okay...so maybe this isn't EXACTLY "where" but I was in NO condition to get my camera and take a picture after my incident. This, however, is a close cousin to the scene of my crime.

Yes, folks...I slipped and fell this morning getting into the shower at the Holiday Inn Express. I misjudged--apparently---the slipperyness (I know folks, not a real word, but cut me some slack...I have a HEAD INJURY here!!) of the shower floor and while stepping INTO the shower, completely lost--and was UNABLE to regain--my footing.

It happened, no joke, in slow motion--folks, I could NOT make this up.

On my way down, all I could think was "I am naked. They are going to find me unconscious and NAKED" Now, mind you..I am the same person who ALWAYS matches her underwear because I have this strange fear of having to have my clothes cut off of me (I know--morbid) and having mismatched underwear. I blame that *issue* on having a paramedic as a mother growing up. 

So imagine how HORRID it would be to be found NAKED. Interestingly enough, I don't recall anything else about my 'life' flashing before my eyes...Just this one completely irrational phobia...

Anyways, back to the fall. I couldn't even so much as grab the curtain...so down I went and completely WACKED my head on the side of the tub. OUCH.

In the moments following, I confirmed that all my appendages still worked. That I was able to move and see my surroundings clearly. And, finally that there was no blood.

After ensuring that I would not have to be found AWAKE, paralyzed..and did I mention..NAKED (which would be MUCH worse than being found unconscious and naked) I then began taking count of the various parts that..umm..*HURT* now

Below is my injury list:

• Head... you know, the part that just came into very severe contact with the tub.

• Teeth... Impact, maybe? I'm not a Dr really, so that's just an educated guess (Thank you WebMd.)

• Neck and Shoulder-blades...Duh, you just threw your body in front of a semi-truck, Smith!

• Left elbow... Strange since I went down on my R side, but okay?!

• Left knee... Hmm, now that's interesting.

• Right big toe... okay, so that might be an exaggeration but I am almost certain it ached a little....

• Both earlobes.

 Word to the wise... Watch your step in the shower. In the Holiday Inn. When you're alone. And naked.

Goodbye Forever.

Ashley

I caved

Well...I caved and called the agency today...you know, just to confirm that our paperwork wasn't misplaced (I mean, I know the check certainly cleared fast enough), that it hadn't spontaneously combusted, been thrown in a lion's den, been martyred after diving on top of a grenade to save some poor puppy [What? It COULD happen], or fallen behind some mysteriously placed bookshelf who's only purpose is to delay homestudies...

I was, oh-so-kindly, informed that "Yes, the caseworker DOES have your information and will be getting in touch with you...shortly"

*foot tapping* Not exactly the precise and detailed answer I was hoping for...*foot tapping*.... But in the name of keeping up this "patient, understanding, easy-going, non-crazed PAP*" persona...I totally acted cool about the whole thing...

No big deal....It's only been 2 weeks, 6 days, 2 hours and 37 minutes since you cashed my check approving us for our home-study... not that I am counting or anything crazy like that...Because I'm not... because that would NOT be a very cool thing to do... and...

I'm totally cool... Breezy cool... I mean it  *wringing hands*....

*Ash*

*PAP stands for prospective (or "pre" depending on who you ask) adoptive parent. Once you adopt, you are simply an AP... It's like it's own world =)

Hurry Up & Wait

Since my analogy of equating the journey of international adoption to flying across the country appears to continue to be quite accurate...I will continue (Please no hate-mail...I am not saying ADOPTION is like a plane ride...simply the journey) *Geesh, you people are intense!*

First, I should probably mention why my mind would immediately correlate this process to flying (as opposed to more eloquent comparisons) but, truly, I love flying. I love the convenience and speed. I love not having to sit in a car for 24 hours to get somewhere. I can sleep and read on a plane--both things I can't do in a car without either a barf bag nearby or severe medication---Was that gross? Sometimes my filter is off =)  I am not such a big fan of listening to my husband complain about how small the seats are (I mean, I fit just fine) but usually my iPod drowns out the flailing arms, re-situating, and frustrated sighs. All in all, I have good experiences on a plane *content sigh*

Very soon after beginning this LONG journey..remember the gestational period of elephants?... I began to see similarities in the journey of this adoption and flying across country. So far we have:

Hurried up and turned in the initial application, determining if we met the criteria = We got to the airport and got through security!

Then we waited. and waited. and waited. to get the next packet = sitting, waiting, drinking overpriced coffee...Is the plane even HERE yet?!?!

Yay! Application part two came, we completed the first paperchase and on our way we go= The plane is here! Boarding has begun..."Let's hurry up and get on the plane so it can take-off quickly!!"

Everything is looking good so far! Oh yah, this trip is going to be easy-breezy...whew..we are ON the plane...*tapping foot*...Why aren't we leaving? Everything is ready..Everyone is on board. Flight attendants showed all the safety measures *tapping foot* Um...Hello? Mr. Pilot.....We are ready to go....*tapping foot*.....

Has anyone ever sat on the tarmac for what seemed like AGES!?!?! 1 1/2 weeks and not a word from our agency about setting up our first homestudy appointment. It might as well have been 100 years. JUST LIKE SITTING ON THE TARMAC. Will this plane EVER take-off!!!!! We have somewhere to be!

Patience. is. a. virtue. 

Or so I've been told. To me, it actually seems overrated =)

Til Next Time,

*Ash*

Something New For You

I was hoping to start something really "Cool" like a  weekly link to a blog I stalk....I mean, LOVE. But as it turned out, on Sunday, my time was captured by an herb garden that needed to be planted, a new tea kettle that needed breaking in, and a new bed that needed to be slept in...for both afternoon naps and nightly sleep =) 

In other words...I. failed. you. miserably.  

But, thank God for redemption [Yes, even for my lack in blogging abilities--Sorry, Pioneer Woman] because as I stalk follow these blogs... I am compelled to share with you, yet again the beauty that can be found in tragedy. I don't ever again want to minimize the pain that these children feel...even through something as wonderful as adoption. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a God response to a human tragedy (or fall from grace), And that it's His "plan B" that EVERY.SINGLE.CHILD. have a family that will love, comfort, protect, and shelter them...BUT for those children?  who are losing everything they have ever known...every ounce of normalcy...and any HOPE they had that their mother would return for them? It truly is a tragedy, filled with grief, loss, and much confusion. 

I recently have begun stalking following a blog by an adoptive mother who adopted her daughter from China, now almost 5 years ago. Her wisdom and honesty have both touched my heart and challenged my understanding. She does a much better job conveying the true heart of what adoption is and should be, than I ever could.  I encourage you to read her blog... 

TODAY, however, specifically, I want to encourage you to read this post about 1 Corinthians 13 as it relates to international adoption.

As God begins to turn people's hearts to the true matters at hand and the need that is out there for loving parents AND the need to work to ending these tragedies, posts like this are not only important pieces of information, because they come from those who have made it through the trenches, they are truly irreplaceable.

So check out my new friend--ahem, I mean..I know we haven't actually met or anything...but I certainly WANT to be her friend--Tonggu Momma. And open your hearts. And enjoy.

Til Next Time,

*Ash*