The Pursuit. {re-post}

[Originally posed October 21, 2010] 

As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. (Ezekiel 34:12).

When I read this scripture, it speaks to me about  so much more than obligation and responsibility.

It speaks of more than protection and shelter.

It even speaks of more than unyeilding love.

This scripture? speaks of  pursuit. Relentless, unadulterated, pursuit.

So many times, in our lives and most importantly in our faith, we see ourselves as the pursuers. We believe that we are the ones in control of the pursuit. That we are the ones pursuing God. And in many ways, that is semi-true. We do seek after God. We do long to know him more. We do come before His throne.

But to address ourselves as the pursuers? 

Is just. not. truth.

Pursuit (per-soot):  A following with a view to reach, accomplish or obtain; endeavor to attain to or gain; as the pursuit of knowledge; the pursuit of happiness or pleasure; the pursuit of power, of honor, of distinction.

 Go in search of or hunt for;  To follow with a view to overtake; to follow eagerly, or with haste; to chase

There are so many definitions and synonyms of the word "pursuit" that I wager it would bore you to death long before you got the point.

The point? Is that to be in pursuit  is to consciously make the decision to journey after something (to hunt; chase; seek). There is no instant gratification in pursuit. In fact, there is more commonly pain, bruises, and hurt.

And I thought I understood pursuit. The same way I am sure most of you believe you "get" it.

I was wrong. Now, please don't misunderstand me...I know some of your stories well enough to recognize that you are truly knowledgeable of the real pain of pursuit. It's just that in most cases, our "pursuit" of Him, has paled in comparison to His pursuit of us.

How do I know this?

Because I am in pursuit.

I am constantly humbled by the revelation of pursuit as we traverse this new world of adoption. I am honored to share in an experience that so few will venture out into. That so few will take the leap of faith towards.

There are good reasons why people don't take this journey....

And quite frankly, there are really lame reasons, too.

But, in this journey...in this 'pursuit'...one of the greatest blessings I have received is a greater revelation of my Father's heart.

It's a deeper understanding of how He feels as He pursues...well, US. His children. His sheep who have somehow gotten lost, gone astray, ended up in a "not ideal" situation. And he seeks after us. He pursues us with a vengeance that I think most people in "normal" circumstances...will never understand.

I can't feel my child move. Or watch my child grow. I can't protect my child by my actions. 

All I can do? Is pursue. And so, I pursue with a vengeance. 

I seek the end prize of getting to have my child in my arms, even while today that is not the case. 

I chase after by moving quickly through the maze of paperwork and education...to find my child. 

I waver not at the cost, because my pursuit is relentless....

I pursue my child's heart...my child who is a world away, in a "not ideal" situation..the same way the Father pursues our hearts...a world away...in "not ideal" situations.

Many of you will never choose to venture into pursuit of this nature. That's a shame...Because through my pursuit of this child...our child...I realize...All of this? 

Is really about HIS pursuit...of HIS child. 

I am merely the vessel blessed to be used. 

And in the end? It was never about me anyways.