Ethiopia: Part I

It's been hard for me to write about our trip to Ethiopia for some reason...


It's not that it was overwhelming...although there were overwhelming moments.


It's not that it was uneventful.


It wasn't horribly emotional....


Neither was it dispassionate.


It's just the cycle of life, I suppose.


When I started this blog, an adoption was barely on my radar. Oh sure, it was fodder for sweet conversation of the future, but it was certainly nothing close to a reality.


But lately, my desire to write has be dwindling...Making it hard to put into words the precious trip we made to meet our sweet Marvel. I'm not certain yet if this is simply a "writing lull" or if this season of my life is finished....


But nevertheless, I have decided to press through today.


Lucky you.


*********************************


Traveling to Ethiopia was a difficult trip. Or at least it was for us. We left Dulles Airport in Washington D.C. at 11:15am...which means we flew all day long (trying desperately to sleep). But due to the time-change we arrived in Ethiopia at about 8:00am.


Morning.


Again.


Leading to overwhelming exhaustion.


But arriving in Ethiopia, there was only one thing on my mind.


I needed to see him.


I wanted to get the horrible awkward uncomfortable first visit out of the way.


I wanted that part behind me so I could thoroughly enjoy meeting and getting to know my son.


So we did.


And it was.


Completely uncomfortable, that is.


Thank the Lord in Heaven that we had no visions of meadows and rainbows and love at first sight.

Because I was nervous.  And exhausted.


And he was wary. And being pushed towards us against his better judgment.


The poor kid just wanted to play with his friends.  I certainly couldn't fault him for that.


And really, we wanted him to have the chance to slowly warm up to us anyways....Watching him play with the other children was exactly what we were hoping for!


So us and the kid? We were totally on the same page.


The caretakers, on the other hand? Made him come sit with us on a couch....and longingly watch all his friends play. and play. and play.


His first impression of Mommy and Daddy? Those boring people who made him miss outside playtime.



Fantastic. 


Definitely don't want to set his sights too high, afterall!


But in spite of all of that....His eyes shined. His smile stole my heart. His cute little laugh took my breath away.


The exhaustion?


Those awkward moments?


They were totally worth it.


Stay tuned. Part II is coming out sometime this century.

Our first few moments together....still not sure about us

Warming up a little thanks to my handy-dandy photo album!

And finally, on the couch where playtime went to die. Which also became
 a couch of cuddling and tickling before the week was over =)

In the Words of Marvin Gaye

What's going on?

I've been meaning to write. Really, I have.

There is so much to talk about. I still want to write about our first trip to Ethiopia before I start to forget things.

I still want to give you the official "What happens next" post because Lord knows, we still have some hoops to jump through.

I still plan to overload you with pictures of the most adorable boy in the world.

No, really....I have such good intentions.


But today? I'm just going to ask you to pray with me. We're now one month out from our court date and 3 1/2 weeks from the official decree.

We were supposed to be submitted to Embassy on Monday.

But of course something was missing. Specifically, a lab report.....

Then we got the optimistic news that the Embassy no longer only requires agencies to submit on a specific day of the week (Yay!) and that they would be trying to submit us again on Wednesday. (Yay again!)

But that wasn't true. Somewhere there was a miscommunication (Really? That's so unusual?!) and they actually DO have to submit on a specific date. Ours is Monday.

Monday is Memorial Day.

They are hoping they will be allowed to submit on Tuesday instead.

Does anyone else feel like they are listening to a broken record?

Cause I sure feel like I sound like one.


I still have a million things to do to get everything "ready" for Marvel's arrival.

I have a hundred-million things to do to get ready for leave from work.

But if they called me tomorrow? I would be on a plane.

No questions asked.

He has underwear and socks. Which is all that is really essential anyways =)


I am not really sure where my thoughts are going on this. I guess just to say I could really use some Aarons and Hurs right now.

Hoping for better news next week.

*Ashley Lou*

All of you.

I read this a while ago and breathed a sign of relief. Finally. Something out there that honors ALL the different kinds of mothers. Too many times, as a society, we fail to acknowledge all mothers.  People stuck "in-between" are confused as to their place. Women struggling with infertility feel hurt and unworthy. Mothers who have lost children are grieving and forgotten.....


But Today? We honor the Momma Heart. To all who qualify as living everyday with a Momma's Heart, I say a wholehearted 'Happy Mother's Day'.  May God bless you evermore!

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you. source

All of you.

Where Have You Been?!?

Life is crazy.

One day, you feel like time has actually slowed to a stop.

You're staring into the deep ravine that is your empty email inbox.

And you feel completely helpless...certain that surely "no news" must-- in fact-- mean "bad news"......

And then?

You are staring into these beautiful eyes...wondering how you managed to ever live without them....

Oh, you still remember the pain. The sorrow. The torment and agony of loss and wait. All the things that ebb and flow in the process...Because those are important to remember. They were are real. And as soon as we forget them, we begin to lack compassion for those who need us most. Those still in the trenches. Our friends. Our comrads.

But. BUT. Suddenly, you also find yourself basking in Grace and Redemption.

You become immensely grateful to a God that doesn't leave you in your misery.

And you are full of immeasureable pride and honor that God would even choose you for this, His most Precious Creation. That you would be given such a blessing as this.

Certain you don't deserve it. Not one bit.  But, knowing, always? That it never depended on what you deserved. That God never asked you to earn it. He only asked you to lean on Him. To steward and love with everything you have. To lead this perfect creation to the One that loved that him first.

And with the weight of that bearing down on you...you look again into those eyes and think, "Where have you been my whole life?" and you know....you will never be the same.

mar·vel/ˈmärvəl/

Noun: A wonderful or astonishing person or thing.

Claire the kitty-cat

I promise to post about our trip and the adoption process from here on out, soon....


But today?


I wanted to pay homage to my friend, Claire.

Claire came into my life at the ripe 'ol age of 6 weeks.

I was 12.

Or maybe 13.

She lived a long life, full of happiness and love.

This Saturday, we had to make the difficult decision not to let Claire suffer and we let her go.


Moses and Oliver (our other fur-kids) have been grieving in their own ways. 


Moses is clingy and needy. Whimpering over nothing. Barking. If we weren't giving grace, I would describe him as Super Annoying since we got home.


Oliver hasn't come out from under the bed except to sleep with me. I've taken to pushing a bowl of food under the bed for him. I think he's taking it worse...but they are just dealing with it in their own ways.


We will miss Claire, but we are thankful to have had her in our lives for so long and we know she didn't suffer, which comforts us.

Rest in Peace, Claire-bear.

1996-2012