Monday, May 7, 2012

Where Have You Been?!?

Life is crazy.

One day, you feel like time has actually slowed to a stop.

You're staring into the deep ravine that is your empty email inbox.

And you feel completely helpless...certain that surely "no news" must-- in fact-- mean "bad news"......

And then?
You are staring into these beautiful eyes...wondering how you managed to ever live without them....

Oh, you still remember the pain. The sorrow. The torment and agony of loss and wait. All the things that ebb and flow in the process...Because those are important to remember. They were are real. And as soon as we forget them, we begin to lack compassion for those who need us most. Those still in the trenches. Our friends. Our comrads.

But. BUT. Suddenly, you also find yourself basking in Grace and Redemption.

You become immensely grateful to a God that doesn't leave you in your misery.

And you are full of immeasureable pride and honor that God would even choose you for this, His most Precious Creation. That you would be given such a blessing as this.


Certain you don't deserve it. Not one bit.  But, knowing, always? That it never depended on what you deserved. That God never asked you to earn it. He only asked you to lean on Him. To steward and love with everything you have. To lead this perfect creation to the One that loved that him first.

And with the weight of that bearing down on you...you look again into those eyes and think, "Where have you been my whole life?" and you know....you will never be the same.



mar·vel/ˈmärvəl/

Noun: A wonderful or astonishing person or thing.



2 comments:

Randee said...

So beautiful. There are good reminders for me too as I'm a little further back in the process.

Christie said...

ASHLEY!
I'm so sorry I dropped off the face of the planet (adoption blogs have been too depressing for me lately) and didn't know about your little boy!! CONGRATULATIONS! You all look so happy together in your pictures! I can't wait to hear more about your trip to Ethiopia in your future posts. I'll try to drop by more freqeuntly. :)
Christie

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