Monday, December 3, 2012

Letters to my Son: You turned 5 on me.

Dearest Marvel,

You have this amazing capacity to brighten the world around you in a way few of us have.  I've had friends ask me "Is he always as happy as he looks in pictures?" and the answer is, "Yes, most of the time!"  You're a child full of happiness and joy and love and I am always in awe of how different you are today than you were in those first days we met at The Big House.  I can only imagine that somehow you were trying to protect the person you were and the walls were built to keep your joy and happiness safe for a while.

When I think of all the things you are and all the things I see you becoming, I am constantly overwhelmed with this feeling that I am so completely undeserving. You have this amazing moral compass and desire to do the right thing.  You strive to be kind and good. You hate getting in trouble (who doesn't) or hearing that you didn't do something as well as we know you can.  You rarely forget anything we say and often times you'll come up to me with your "better" try and I have to dig in my brain a little to remember what it was you didn't do as well the first time!

You have a passion for music that rivals your daddy's. We are so lucky to have met people who know where this love comes from and I am often brought to tears thinking that there are people looking down on you from Heaven enjoying every minute of your songs.  We love them here, too.  I love to hear you sing songs and the fact that you will sing anywhere (even the grocery store) and I am confident that you bring joy to every person who passes us!

I can remember being so worried that a boy of 4 1/2 would probably be out of the cuddle with Mommy phase of life but I am so blessed to have you! Because you are the kind of kid who reaches out to hold hands, jumps in for "family hugs", and wants to cuddle to fall asleep each night. One night as we were getting you ready for bed, you said you wanted to cuddle with Mommy afterwards and when I asked you "why?", you said "because....because I LOVE Mommy."   That moment will be forever engraved on my heart.

I am torn as a Mother...wanting to hold on to these first moments forever. Knowing that with each day you grow up a little more...becoming more and more independent and I know that the time will eventually come when spending time with Mommy might feel more like punishment than fun.  And yet, at the same time, I can see glimpses of the person God is creating in you. The kindness. The joy. The desire to do right.  How fully you work to be good at something (swimming and soccer come to mind). And my goodness, you are SO smart! I don't want to miss a single moment of that either...of you growing up and becoming the Man of God you were destined to become!  I am so blessed to be your Mommy and I love you so much more than I could ever put in words.

I love you Telleck to the Moon,


Heartfelt by Trinity Ridge


Ashley said...


kerbya said...

tear. God is good. His plan is good. He is good. The end.

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