One month

Saturday marked one month since our adoption journey took a drastic turn.

This month has been filled with the obvious:

Sadness.

Confusion.

Frustration.

But what really surprised me? Were the feelings of joy. humility. and strength.


We don't doubt God's hand in our situation. We don't question His plan.  And even with all that? It just...

Wasn't fair.

There is no one to blame. No one did anything wrong.

In fact, what happened is the true picture of God's grace and love in reuniting a family.

We know that we were not supposed to be Cupcake's family.


And yet, for us? it still just wasn't fair.

We're not supposed to be here. 

Nervous.

Anxious.

Uncertain.

We're supposed to be somewhere else. Somewhere happier.

Somewhere more?  Fair.
(I've tried explaining this to God. It's gotten me virtually nowhere)


But we're not.

And in the midst of hardship, we give God more room to work. 

And He gives us more grace.

Grace to handle things that we were certain we couldn't.

Grace to pray with renewed clarity and fervor.

Grace to walk through the pain of inconsiderate questions and comments and come out the other side undamaged.

Grace to trust that He will fulfill what He promised.



This Christmas season, I have been blessed with greater gifts than I though possible. But they didn't come without a price.

Of course, nothing does.



And, then, the child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother:“This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” Luke 2:33-35