Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Time never asks permission...

It never ceases to amaze me how so much of life is controlled by TIME. It seems like yesterday it was moving SO slowly that I thought it would never pass at all...Now, I realize how much age changes perspective. TIME, this thing I fought so harshly in my school days, I now find myself wooing it to slow down once again.... I realized tonight that, I don't make enough TIME for old friends, kids grow up to fast, and months and years pass without asking permission first.

Over the course of the last few weeks, I have been faced with many relationships. Ones that were lost , and now are trying to be found again; ones that time has been an enemy of, with so many things changing in our lives that we don't even know each other anymore, and ones that it seems time actually stops for. We can pick up right where we left off as if no time has passed at all. Of course, children are born and they grow up. But the relationships seem to freeze in time until the next time we can see each other. Its an awesome thing. Time.

I don't know how to express the events of the past month. Of course, if time weren't my enemy, I would only be telling you about the past week. In July, we took our youth to camp in Branson this summer and they had an awesome experience. It seems that camp is one of those special times where God actually let's me go BACK in time and I really feel like a teenager again. So many things happened at camp that make me who I am today and I become one of the kids for a week, it's nice... Don't judge me, if you don't get that opportunity, I guarantee you wish you did. But the thing about camp that always strikes me as ironic, is that the first two days are spent with the kids wishing the week were over and the last 2 days are spent wishing it would never end. Don't you wish we could tell this generation of all our wisdom about time??? Don't you think if someone would have told us, we would have listened?? Of course not...So we let them battle time the way we once did, knowing that age will change their perspective too....

Last week, I had dinner with old friends...I mean, fifth grade; tether ball courts; awkward hair and heights friends...Of course, once again...time is my enemy. Now, I see, in front of me, a pastor with a beautiful wife and young daughter. I wonder if high school will still seem so close behind me in 50 years? I wonder, if instead, 26 will be "just yesterday"?

Then, tonight, we had dinner with some really great friends. Ones whom we admire and trully love (and no, I am not just writing this because you read my blog Tracie!) but once again, time gets in the way of everything. Everytime we get together, it's like no time at all has passed and we sit, laugh, and say how we won't let as much time pass again..Their three year old little girl is now 9 (going on 10) and the babies in diapers are comedians, drummers, and DEFINITELY all boy...and time didn't care what we wanted, where we wanted it to slow down, and the hard times we wanted to get through quickly...It just doesn't even ask. And next thing we know, its been 6 months again and the cycle continues.. this time we are all just a little older, a little more time has passed.

I have graduate school coming up in the fall, an adoption process I want to start in the next year, and so many projects I hope to start, yet it all seems like its a universe away from me, but I am now well aware, that, in the future looking back, I will curse time for going to quickly, for not allowing me to savor the really special moments, for not giving me the time I wanted to experience all I could and for once again...not asking permission. I just hope that, now that I know all this, I am wiser and more thoughtful with the time I do have..NOW.

I guess my revelation, today, is that we should MAKE time for the people who are important, for the relationships you want cultivated, and for those things that matter most. Don't rush the times that seem menial and small, you will regret not savoring them when they are gone. And, don't expect time to ever ask permission. Just love the time you have. Love God, love your family, love your friends, forgive those who have hurt you, ask for forgiveness from the ones you have hurt and beat time at its own game, by living life to the fullest.

Goodnight, Ashley

P.S. Thanks Tracie for reminding me that I wanted to be good at this, and making me and my blog feel so special. Love you.


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