I don't really remember...

I recently gave up facebook. It is important to disclose that, as we move on, for a few reasons. 1.) It would surprise many people that I have actually blogged two days in a row and would certainly raise curiosity! 2.) The truth is I am only blogging two days in a row because I have simply transferred one addiction for another and, as I mentioned before, I gave up facebook!! But, that's really what I wanted to write about anyways...

See, I remember a lot...If you ask my husband, he would say I forget NOTHING. But, there are things that I know I just CAN'T remember. I remember why I am scared of wasps, I remember WANTING to know what a broken bone felt like, what wearing glasses were like, and even what it felt like to have braces...But I can't remember at what point "perfectionism" (not a good thing) was ingrained in me, I don't remember how you go about re-cultivating relationships, and, oddly, I don't remember life before online networking..Even now, I have checked my "blog list" several times today and I am even looking for NEW blogs to subscribe too...but, there WAS life before the internet, right???

I think this blog has given me an outlet to channel all my thoughts. I always talk about how busy I am, but I don't remember what it felt like to NOT be stretched and I don't know whether or not I could live without all these factors anyways! I have old friends that I haven't spoken to in years, and even though I DO remember all the great times we had together, I just don't know how to start back at square one. I mean, I am sure I have done it before...I just don't really remember how... It just surprises me all the things I CAN'T remember...

I always talk about all the things I will stop doing when I have kids. People assume that because I DON'T have kids that it means I don't LIKE them.. That's not true, I just know that everything I do everyday shares me with everything else...God, church, work, school, house, pets, HUSBAND... I am only being cautious to ensure that my children don't feel like they were "sharing" me with all these temporal things...So, I say that I will quit many of them (or finish) before kids...but the truth is, I don't remember NOT being busy with so many things..So, isn't it just more likely that I will just pick up new things to take my time?? Aren't there just going to be 100 more things pulling at me? It's a scary thought.

I want to be good at it all (you only need to read a few of my past blogs to know that I am NOT) but I never cut back enough that I can be truly great at a few things...I guess I just don't want to be mediocre and I worry that, that's all I really can be at 100 different things...Mediocre.
Isn't that just the deadliest plague....

Til next time (or tomorrow, probably) ;-)

~~Ashley