I have been staring at my blog page for weeks with nothing to write about...I mean, the mundane is still hanging around like cousin Eddie...but I decided to spare you from pages and pages of "Woke up a little late today" etc....
Last night I was trying to sleep and, of course, my mind was wandering aimlessly through a barrage of things that make residence in my head, finally settling on something that I am especially thankful for. I have a few friends that I have been blessed to watch and and learn from with their kids. You see, I know teenagers pretty well. Thankfully I have been able to, over the years, watch teenagers be parented up close and personal and learn from the decisions of others. DH and I have discussed what we want our parenting style to be...what we want to instill in our children and, most importantly, what we don't. We aren't naive to think that it's not a constant learning curve that people go through, but like everyone else, we would like to think of as many scenarios as possible, watch those around us, and learn as much as we can before we get there.Typically, in all things I would rather be PRO-active than RE-active! =)
So, back to the point. I have begun to categorize the things I see around me and I decided to write about a couple of things have stuck in my mind. Things that I hope we are able to effectively do as parents (names have been changed to protect the innocent). Take Fred and Wilma for instance. Something that I have learned from watching them is how to model the whole "not arguing in front of the kids" aspect of parenting. I don't know if maybe Wilma just ALWAYS agrees with Fred or if she has just perfected the art of pretending...but even in their home they don't disagree with each other in front of the kids...(well, at least in front of me that is--maybe I count, HAHA!) =] Another thing Wilma is amazing at is trying to watch what is said around kids...criticisms, "fat statements", etc...She never says those things and even corrects others when they do. I am sure my approach to this will look quite different ( I sometimes think our actions speak louder and teach our children where their time should be spent), but this is really something I want to get better at. ..Just food for thought I guess.
Then there is Barney and Betty. I have watched them for many years parent their kids and I STILL notice new things. One of the parenting "activities" that really intrigued me, and honestly surprised me, was the fact that they won't tell stories about their kids without their permission. I, truly, never would have thought of this..but I LOVE it. It shows your children you respect them, you honor them, and you won't betray them. Ironically, I have seen all their children naked, bathed them and changed their diapers, and a story about something funny that happened in Wal-Mart is hardly comparable to the "poop in the bathtub" story I personally have...BUT to a child who is learning self-confidence..to a child who, YOU as the parent, are trying to instill self-esteem in...it means EVERYTHING that you ask their permission. I have seen it first-hand, when [said] child actually tells Barney or Betty "No" and they watch as their parents honor their wishes. WHAT a remarkable concept...teaching your children respect by GIVING it to them..Now, I am not a parent but this one is going to be filed under "VERY important".
I have a lot of other files categorized...and I am always watching. Because I want to be the best Mom I can be someday (and yes,I know I will fail sometimes)... but maybe I can fail less by paying attention to all the ones who have gone before me. I am a firm believer in NOT re-inventing the wheel...
I see it like this. If I am in the woods, surrounded by things I have never experienced before,a place where I am unfamiliar and can't see my way out... I am DEFINITELY following the trail that someone else left.....Usually that leads to the clearing =)
