Lost.

Have you ever been lost?

You know, truly and completely uncertain about your surroundings or which way to turn to get where you want to be...

It can be debilitating.

It can be confusing.

It can be downright scary.

I grew up in a small rural town in the South. My playground was the woods behind our house and the creek a few miles away. 

I remember being gone from sun-up to sundown playing in those woods. Running barefoot down the dirt road because my old tennis shoes were soaked from playing in the creek. Eating berries off the side of the road. Climbing trees so high I could see for miles and miles. Discovering new places and new adventures all the time.

But I don't ever remember being lost. 

Strange, isn't it? I rarely knew where I was...
but I always knew where I was...

When I think about my life now? My dreams? My "plans"? I often get distracted by the steps involved. When I don't know what step comes next, I immediately become frozen with fear.

And I can't help but wonder...at what point in my life did not knowing where I was stop being a new adventure? When did I become so afraid of the unknown?

I sit here confused. Because to tell you the truth...there are no balls in the air. There are so many things I want to do in life and I? just don't know which way to turn to get there. And I wish I saw it as a new adventure. I wish I could see myself as an explorer discovering new seasons in life. 

I want to be that person.

But more often than not, I stand in front of the mirror and remind myself that God will never let you miss His destiny for you if you are seeking Him.

And yet, that doesn't mean it's going to happen today.

That's why it's called Faith.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV 2011)

Guest Post in honor of National Foster Care Month

Hey guys! Today I am so excited to share a guest post by my friend Lindsy! I love her heart for foster care and I have been so gripped recently by the mis-education out there about foster care and even adopting children from hard places. All I know is that we need more families ready to stand in the gap for these babies! In honor and celebration of National Foster Care Month, Lindsy has done an amazing Foster Care series over at Word from the Wallaces that I HIGHLY recommend you check out when you're done here!

Take it away, Lindsy!

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I'm excited and honored to be sharing our foster care journey and a bit of my heart for orphans with you today! God may have this post specifically for you OR this may not be your calling.

Do whatever He is calling YOU to. He is calling you to something!

Let's start here ----> We never intended to be foster parents. It was not on our radar or any to-do list. We began the process of international adoption in 2009. We ended up with two biological kiddos and continued our pursuit of international adoption. Foster care literally never entered our minds.


My thinking was along the lines of "Kids in the US have roofs over their heads, clothes on their backs and food in their tummies. Their parents are not dying of AIDS at alarming rates and they are not dying themselves of dirty water. The needs of children overseas are greater." (I. WAS. WRONG.)


Flash forward to 2012. Through a series of events only God could orchestrate, we became involved with a local family in need. We stepped in to care for the children for a short season so their mother could position herself to properly care for her kids.


And that's when God went to work on our hearts.

We learned early on in our placement with the boys that they might not be leaving anytime soon. In fact, it became apparent they would likely be going into foster care. Since we were not certified foster parents, that would have meant them being pulled from our house and moved into a state certified foster home.


He re-wrote our story to include the American orphan. God knew we needed to see it for ourselves, in our own living room. So we became foster parents.


He showed us how the effects of neglect, abuse and trauma in the United States are NO different than the effects of neglect, abuse and trauma in Africa or Haiti. He opened our eyes to the 500,000 orphans in our own country who will go to bed tonight as wards of the state. He taught us that while yes, children in third world countries are more likely to be on the streets in the only shirt they own begging for food and living in a carboard box beacuase their parents are dead or dying, the effect parentlessness has on them is no greater than the effect of parentlessness on orphans right "here".


Their needs are the same. The same as children in Africa. Children in Russia, India and Haiti. The need for lovers of Jesus to fight for the American orphan is the same.

There are currently over 100,000 children in the US foster care system who are legally available for adoption. Did you know that? One year ago I did not.

There are a lot of myths regarding foster care and adopting from the foster system. Unfortunately, the only stories that receive media attention are ones where a birth parent shows up years later and demands their kid back. Or stories of kids who linger in the states care for years and years.


While these things do happen, they are not the norm. More importantly, the system may be broken, but God is sovereign.


The state's job is to protect children but the state cannot and does not nurture children and point them to the only One who can heal him. His Bride must do that. If not us, then who?

If you'd like to learn more about foster care or adoption in your state visit Focus on the Family.

Lindsy and her husband William live in Kentucky with their four preschoolers and are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a toddler from Africa. She blogs about orphan care and Jesus at word from the wallaces.

[Memorial Day] Gratitude.

My FIL fought in Vietnam. For most of my husband's life, he says he rarely heard much about his dad's time in Vietnam. All we knew was that very few guys from his group made it home. And the ones who did were forever changed.  

As he's gotten older, he'll periodically share with us bits and pieces from his life there... A few years ago, the traveling wall came to our town and FIL came to see it. You see, most of his friends are on that wall. Rows of them, in fact, were people whose names alone flooded his mind with memories. That weekend, we were also able to visit one of the men who served with him and I think those things combined opened the floodgate.

I learned more about him in that weekend than I have in the 13 years I've known him combined.

We, often times, become so desensitized to hearing of fallen soldiers oversees... Almost as if it's so far away that we have convinced ourselves it's not real.

But it is. Real.

Each name on the news is a son or daughter. Someone's husband/wife. Fathers and mothers. Beloved sisters and brothers.

Friends.

Heroes.

Thank You just seems so cheap compared to the sacrifices made. Both by our hero soldiers...and their families...

Thank You. Just isn't a worthy response when so much is given and taken.

When I think about each person who joins our armed forces and takes the call to fight for freedom. So dearly loved by so many. So brave and courageous?

My heart is filled with a gratitude I don't have words to describe.

Recently, as we prayed for the family of a fallen hero, Marvel asked if this soldier was like Captain America.

"Better" I replied, "because he didn't have special powers or superhuman strength. He was brave and courageous all on his own...in his own skin.  He was truly a Super-hero".

A few days later, we saw a man in uniform in the grocery store. Marvel whispered to me "Look, mom...a superhero soldier!" with awe and admiration. 
Had he not been in the middle of a conversation, we would have stopped to thank him..I told Marvel we would thank each and every soldier we saw from now on

Each and every member of our armed forces are superheros. Brave and Courageous in the face of danger. 

So, as we mark a day of remembrance to our fallen heroes..I, humbly, with more respect than I can even describe.. say Thank you.

Thank you to the men and women who daily risk their lives for freedom. Who put on a uniform that asks them to be willing to give their lives for ours.

Thank you to the families who courageously await the return of their beloved soldiers.

Thank you to the husbands and wives who keep their families running smoothly during a long and hard deployment.

Thank you to the moms and dads who hold back tears and lumps in their throats as their hero tells them they are joining the military.

Thank you to those who have come home with battles to face again.

Thank you to those who live with physical---and invisible---reminders of the toll of war.

And Thank you. Thank you... to the heroes whose lives {here} ended on the battlefield.

We honor you. We celebrate you. We thank you.

A few thoughts from the mobility-impaired

Congrats to Valerie!! 

She won the Huge Book Giveaway and is all set with her spring reading!!

1.  When I broke my ankle, my old college roommate suggested I go ahead and get a knee scooter....Every ounce of pride I had left said No Way. Not Gonna Happen.  And then it was exhausting trying to get to the bathroom twenty feet from the couch and getting my own nutrients from the kitchen was near impossible.

Enter Knee Scooter.  It's amazing what being able to go to the bathroom alone does to someones perspective.

2.  I've really been wishing I'd gotten a pedicure before my skydiving adventure...I can't reach my foot now and am still debating the hilarity of going to get a [modified] pedicure anyways! 

3.   I've been blessed with some amazing friends and family! Both my Mother in law and Mom spent several days here post-surgery, friends have been shuttling Marvel around and done more than their fair share..and The Husband. Well, that man deserves a trophy. And a vacation!

4.  Bear with me if things are quiet around here for a while! I'm still on some pretty heavy meds and while my mobility is limited, what I can do is terribly exhausting so I still sleep a lot more than normal!!  

I promise to keep you updated!! Thank you for all the love and prayers!!

A {Life-Transforming} Book Giveaway!!

Hey everyone!  This week I am teaming up with a few of my friends to do an awesome book giveaway!! 

 Each of us were asked to choose a book that had changed or deeply impacted our lives and one lucky winner will receive a copy of EACH of our book choices! That's right, 5 amazing books!!!  For my book choice, I chose the Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne!

“Only Jesus would be crazy enough to suggest that if you want to become the greatest, you should become the least. Only Jesus would declare God's blessing on the po0r rather than on the rich and would insist that it's not enough to just love your friends. I just began to wonder if anybody still believed Jesus meant those things he said.” Shane Claiborne

I fell into this book....or more accurately, stumbled across it.  I was not looking for a book to further destroy my comfortable complacency ..but alas, here it was.

 You see, I was busy being destroyed by McCall's book pick, Seven,  when I decided to dig deeper. I determined that if I was to truly be transformed by a book--I wanted to know all I could about what had wrecked the author of my destruction. 

And there, in that digging, I found The Irresistible Revolution.

I wish I could describe the depth of conviction I had and the adrenaline that coursed through my veins to affect change in my community after finishing this book...but I know that it was truly a personal experience.

I hope that The Irresistible Revolution brings you to that same place of challenge.

To do more for the least.

To be there for our neighbors.

To transform your world into God's Kingdom on Earth.

“Maybe we are a little crazy. After all, we believe in things we don't see. The Scriptures say that faith is "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Heb. 11:1). We believe poverty can end even though it is all around us. We believe in peace even though we hear only rumours of wars. And since we are people of expectation, we are so convinced that another world is coming that we start living as if it were already here.”  Shane Claiborne

        If you want to read even more about this amazingly dangerous book, check out Amazon's book description Here!  

 So as you can see, I believe that The Irresistible Revolution is one of those books that can truly transform your life!! And I want to share it with you!!! Here's how you can enter to win this and 4 other life-changing books!!!

Using the Rafflecopter below, you can get an entry for following my blog and another entry for commenting on this post!  Then head over to my friends pages to learn all about their favorite book picks and enter there as well!!!  That gives you a total of 10 chances to win 5 amazing life-changing books!!!!

Lyndsy at Word from the Wallaces;                McCall at Finding Our Way;   

Tiffany at Stuff and Things;                           Wynn at Gloriously Ruined

a Rafflecopter giveaway


And here's a glimpse of the book collection you can win this week! Winners will be announced this weekend! 

What are you waiting for?!?!

Birthday Fail.

Easter weekend started out with all the usual beauty!

Celebrating our Resurrected Lord. Our church has an amazing multimedia production that {I believe} is really second to none and we were so excited for Marvel to get to see it with us. Easter is the season that messes me up and during the production, as I was sobbing...my gentle and amazing son reached over and said "It's ok, Mom...it isn't over yet...He will Rise!"   Out of the mouths of babes...  Needless to say, I was a proud puddle of blubbering mess after that!

Next, we were on our way to a town about an hour north for my big Birthday present!! I'd been looking forward to this day for months and after 4 (FOUR!) reschedules, the weather was beautiful and I was PUMPED to finally celebrate turning 30 properly!!

Next was....well... slightly less planned.  I often laugh because I consider myself semi-adventurous and pretty close to fearless...and yet.  

I am the most accident prone person you will ever meet. My poor tandem instructor had a spotless record. Over 1500 tandem jumps and no one had ever broken a bone.   Well, he obviously just hadn't met the right beginner yet.

Yep.

I managed to break not one...but TWO! bones in my ankle when I messed up the landing.

Surgery is scheduled for Friday so if I am MIA a while (or my posts seem especially medicated ha!) you'll all know why!!

Please don't hesitate to say a prayer for me when you think about it! My poor husband is single-parenting it for a while and once the adrenaline wore off, I was able to determine that broken ankles HURT!!! :-)

For the Love

If you've guys been around here very long, you've heard me talk about how Hard the adoption journey is.

There are so many tools we have to carry around with us -all the time- as adoptive parents...ready to whip them out at a moment's notice.

Tools for healing and helping our kiddos navigate feelings.

Tools for diffusing situations.

Tools for building attachment.

Tools for food issues, sleep issues, ownership issues...

The list goes on and on and on....

My friends in the adoption-world often joke about kidnapping taking Dr. Purvis home with us from one of her conferences so she can just do it for us... She's really good, ya'll. {and it's exhausting.}

But while all of those tools are needed and incredibly useful in helping bring our children healing.

They are no substitute for Love.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" 1 John 4:18(a)

Now, I don't claim to have perfect love. I get annoyed and frustrated  and angry. And I yell more than I mean to and apologize more than I wish I had to.

But...there are times when I can see how my love for Marvel is the vessel God is using to blanket him in perfect Perfect Love.

We took a lot of pictures of Marvel sleeping when he got home. Partly because we were doting first-time parents who took pictures of every remotely cute thing he did (in-turn, we created a monster, ha!)

But partly? because sleep did not come easy for our sweet Marvel. It was a time of vulnerabilty and an opportunity for fear to come roaring out. Awake and asleep.  It was here when fear was its strongest that I saw the power of Love.

Many nights, in the early season of Marvel sleeping in our room, he would wake up overwhelmed with fear and I would reach down and rub his back or hold his hand. As he gripped my hand in his and slowly drifted back into desperately-needed rest, I saw that Love. Perfect Love that only our Heavenly Father can pour out. Was more powerful than even the deepest, most rooted fears.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

You see...Love doesn't erase the sins. It doesn't get rid of the hard stuff or make any of those things disappear, the way we might want it to.

But. It does release us from the power those things have over us. Deep Love, Perfect Love. brings us the strength we need to walk through the hard things without being overtaken by them.

It covers us. It empowers us. It heals us.

Today I am linking up over at:

{Spotlight Series} The Wallace Family

I'm so excited to continue with the Fundraising Family Spotlight Series and to introduce my new friend Lindsy and her beautiful family!

The Wallaces are the featured family this week in the Give1Save1 campaign and I'm so excited to share with the world their amazing story and help them raise the $$ they need! Please consider joining with us by supporting the Wallaces this week over at Give1Save1 where each $1 makes a difference! You can read all about their adoption journey Here and while you're there please check out their store and all the other cool ways you can become part of their village!!

The Wallace Family - Adoption Story from William H. Wallace II on Vimeo.

Oh, and while you're here...please watch this amazing video they've made about their adoption story!! Best video ever! :-)

Dear Friday

Here you are....

boasting of sunshine and spring weather that will surely pass quickly by returning us to weekend chill.

You bring with you anticipation and dancing dreams of sleeping in. Of relaxation. Of rest.

And yet, looking forward beyond your horizon to soccer games. tball practices. birthday parties.

I know that {in all reality} you lead us into the busiest and most hectic hours of our week.

Yet I long for the days that you usher in with you.

Days when we are together, enjoying life. bracing the weather.

When fun and family rule the hours and sleep and cuddles abound as effortlessly as the laundry.

And so, while your dancing sugarplum fairies are nothing more than illusions on the horizon...I'm okay with that.

Our reality is pretty good, too.

Thank you Friday. Welcome.

Linking up with Traded Dreams today for the Open Letter Campaign

The Hard.

Today I am linking up with my friend, Tiffany! Go check out all the other beautiful posts on adoption, foster, and orphan care!!

First, I should warn you that I just returned from Created for Care and I am processing a Lot of stuff these days... That said, proceed at your own risk ;-)

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Adoption is a picture of redemption. True.

And adoption puts children into forever families. True.

And for us, as the adoptive parents, I think the picture of the journey to our children is often filled with waiting, pursuit, longing, waiting, paperwork, waiting lists, more paperwork and more waiting.

All True.

And there comes a point when, after all that anguish, we are able to put the journey behind us and declare it all worth it in the end.  True.


But there is more to the story. There is so much more to the process and to the journey than our "yes".

There is hard, too.

Because while we were journeying and paperchasing and waiting and waiting and waiting?

Our children were walking through rejection, abandonment, shame, loss, hurt, longing, relinquishment, lonliness, abuse, trauma, neglect, malnourishment, sadness and grief.

Yes. Adoption is restoration and it is redemptive and it can bring beauty to brokenness.

But. BUT. It is also hurt. and loss. and more loss.....


It can be too easy, in my experience, to see the finish line and declare ourselves victorious without considering the hidden things. the broken things. the layers upon layers of hurt that we must carefully help our children peel back to bring true and complete healing.

We must be willing to walk through the hard, too, parents.  We must be willing to acknowledge that those early hurts deeply affected our children. And we must be ready to grieve with them. To talk about the hard things. To be honest and trustworthy with our childrens stories. To love them through the anger--which will undoubtedly be directed at us-- and to sit and wait as our children examine deeper and deeper inside their protected little hearts for the things they most want to be rid of....

We must understand that that finish line we celebrated? Was the starting line. We had simply arrived at the race.

And intentionally. purposefully. honestly. We must walk through the hard stuff with our children. We must cover shame with His grace and love. We must acknowledge unfairness and grieve hurts and losses and unanswered questions. We must be fully present. constant. never failing in our love and consistency.

Gently. 

Never forgetting that for us to be their forever family...

they have to have lost their first family.

"Adoptive parents and families are not always aware of how being relinquished has deeply impacted their adopted child. They are just so thankful to have that child in their life. But, all the while adoptive parents are rejoicing and celebrating, their adopted child is grieving the missing parts of his or her life before living with their family. Their adopted child has lost a part of his or her history, his or her DNA, his or her life –- and no one is available to talk about it." 

-Carissa Woodwyk

Love Big.

This past weekend I was blessed to  attend Created for Care with my dear friend Randee!

Since re-uniting with reality...
(for real, ya'll ...there was chocolate and coffee EVERYWHERE!)

I've tried to gather my thoughts.

Process some stuff.

Re-evaluate motives. actions. Opportunities.

And mostly I've tried to remind myself that I chose to walk this path of Intentional Parenting.

I chose not to depend on the 'norm' to correct, connect with and help my children heal.

I knowingly entered into this world of brokenness and beauty and loss and redemption and grief and restoration.

And His Grace has so abounded....
**********


As I think about all I gained this weekend, I truly don't know if it's possible to express how much my heart was filled as I sat listening to the Voice of the Adoptee as she walked through the " adoption process" from our children's view.
"Children from hard places often deal with immense shame related to the earliest rejections, abandonments, losses... Guilt is in direct relationship to actions...but Shame? Shame speaks to someone's very Goodness"   Oh. The power of those words as we walk next to our children on their road to healing...

Or how refreshed and renewed and released I was in my date with God....
I came feeling like I was in a good place. With adoption. With life. But, oh my...when given the chance to truly release the weight.. I was surprised by how much I needed the embrace of my Father. How much I desired to just be a child in the safety of her Father's arms again without the burdens of this life....

But I know that I needed it. And so did 899 other mommas who traveled to Created for Care for the January and March retreats.

Those amazing mommas who planned and organized and orchestrated all of this... what can be said in gratitude to the women who gave us the chance to sit in a room and look around and think "These are my people" and tell stories and discuss struggles that we so carefully protect in our everyday lives?

It seems so inadequate for all that was poured out on our behalf...

You see, I'm not necessarily the best at making friends...but at C4C I truly believed I was in a room with true friends.

We cried together. OMG. Did we cry together (have I mentioned yet my inability to cry pretty?).

We laughed and cheered and renewed our spirits together.

We worshiped together.

And together we left. Ready to go home. To get back to the very basics of all we know about parenting our kiddos from hard places. To be fully present in their needs and desires and sorrows.

To Love Big.

Wordless Wednesday {Two Week Edition}

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Silly Hat Day at school. Nailed it.

New shoes. Best reaction ever.  Just, stop it already! :-)



Finally got our certificate of foreign birth!!



On my way to C4C (more on that soon!)

View from the Legacy Lodge at Created for Care! Beautiful scenery!

Check out that form! Anyone see that Volkswagon commercial?!?! ;-)

Shut the front door! We have a reader, folks!! :-)





Gluten, You Great Deceiver.

Dear Gluten.

You with your tender pastries and your soft bread.

With your warm, buttery croissants that call to me from the bakery shelf only to melt in my mouth.

With your moist and delicious cupcakes packed with creamy filling.

You have hidden behind a veil of secrecy and covered the truth with delicate pastries and desserts and warm fresh breads for far too long.


I would have never discovered your deception had I not begun looking for a cure to chronic headaches.

I never would have become wise to your ploys and your influence.

I would have continued living in my wheat-filled, headache stuper, none the wiser..

But, alas, the veil has been torn down and the truth has set me free.

Don't get me wrong, I know you aren't necessarily bad for everyone. I know that you, when eaten well, are in fact a perfectly healthy part of a diet....

But I didn't know how common it was to be gluten-sensitive.

I didn't know that-- thanks to the way you make our lives so easy-- I was funneling more processed and less real food into my family's mouths.

I didn't know that I had alternatives like almond flour and coconut flour.

I had no idea that quinoa and amaranth were sufficient replacements as whole grains.

I didn't know that Real Food was the answer.

Okay, so maybe that is my own fault, but I was deceived, I tell ya!

Really, Dearest Gluten, I should Thank You.

It's because of you that I first began researching all your lying friends, like high fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners.

It's because of you, I started asking myself if there were alternatives to foods covered in toxic pesticides and injected with man-made antibiotics and horomones.

It's because of you that I committed myself to doing the very best for my family.

It's because of you that I have more energy and fewer headaches and wake up without feeling like I'm in a fog.

It's because of you that my family has traded the ultra-processed, packaged fare for the real thing.

It's all because of you.

So thank you, you lying, cheating, Siren of Baked Goods.

Thank you.

Today I am linking up over at The Open Letter Campaign!
Go check it out and join in the fun!

Changing the Way I Pray

Look at that face.

It's the face of a {perfect} child.

Except for when it's not.

He's going to grow up and become a man someday.

He's going to get married and have children.

He's going to look back and think of all the things he will do different in raising his own family.

And contrary to how that might sound, I have no problem with that. In fact, it brings me much peace to believe that he will aspire to be a better parent and spouse  and person than I am or ever will be.

And as his mother, of course, I pray for him and that future all the time.

But not in the way I always imagined I would.

Example: When I was a teenager, True Love Waits was just getting some notariety. It's popularity was increased with books like "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".

In that season of abstenance-education, when I would pray for my future husband, I would pray the ever-noble "keep us both pure"...as if somehow, free-will wasn't an issue in the romance area.

And while my heart was in the right place, I believe that prayers like that (in my own case) were somewhat misdirected.

I mean, even then? I struggled with questions like What if my future-husband-to-be didn't know about True Love Waits. What if he'd never read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, What if he wasn't even a believer at that time? What if he Was and yet still made bad choices.

What if I did?

Did that mean God wasn't answering my prayers? Did that mean I would walk the rest of my life full of shame and guilt? Did it mean I was no longer worthy? Of course not. 

My sins were on that cross. I wasn't redeemed because I had never sinned..but rather because I had. And would again at some point.

Redemption wasn't offered because I was good enough, Grace was given because I wasn't.

But because I had focused on the sin and not the grace, my view of the value each held was distorted...

And just for the record, I completely support the True Love Waits initiative and it's counterparts. It isn't that I don't believe in abstenance and monogamy and the beauty of marriage as it was intended, unaffected by shame.

I do. (and will preach the same to my children)

It's just that..that is just one example of the way we often pray about the future....maybe instead of praying that my children or even my children's future-spouses behave a certain way or enjoy certain things or even avoid certain mistakes...

Maybe instead of all that?

I focus my prayer on the foundation of all it all.

Grace.

"For it is by free grace (God's unmerited favor) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation) through [your] faith. And this [salvation] is not of yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your own striving], but it is the gift of God" (AMP) Eph. 2:8

I will devote my life to raising children who desire Jesus. Who long to be with Him and fulfil their part in advancing the Kingdom of God. I will pray that God will shield them from hurts and rejection and mistakes that undoubtedly have consequences. I will train my child with discipline, direction, love, and The Word of God. I will ALWAYS pray that the Holy Spirit would be an ever-present voice when my children face choices and that their hearts would be soft and their ears would be open to listen to the direction of the Lord.

But they won't always.

And no matter how long I stand before the throne of God on their behalf? They will sin.

And so more than all those other things, I will contend for their quick repentence and return to their Father. I will cry out on their behalf. And most importantly, I will beseech the Almighty for a greater impartation of His Grace in my life.

I pray that my children believe wholeheartedly in their salvation through grace. That they would expect that same grace extended from us {their parents} and that they would be quick to return that grace to the people around them.

That our expectations of each other would be muted by the overwhelming faith in a God that has poured out unlimited grace on us, despite our sinful nature.

“But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound”Rom.5:20

So, no longer will I pray that my children will avoid certain mistakes and sins. No longer will I pray for a specific personality trait or desireable habit from their future spouses. No longer will I focus on the things that man cares about...

Instead? I choose to focus on the desires of their hearts.

That they would be ever-turned to the desires of God's heart and that their lives would be guided by that relationship and the daily presense of the Holy Spirit. I pray that they would be courageous and brave for justice. That when choices are presented, they seek the will of God first. And I pray that they would walk the straight and narrow path their entire lives without looking to the left or the right when the enemy is trying to pull them in.

But when all that fails and sin occurs despite my greatest efforts?  I pray that they know Grace.

That shame and guilt are suffocated under the overwhelming love that Grace gives. And that I am able to give freely the grace that has been given to me.

I pray that they feel loved and worthy even in the midst of consequences and that I am never the vessel the enemy is able to use to cloak them again in shame and guilt.

And I pray that in my own sins, my children have an understanding of grace enough to extend it back.

Because, even in my greatest moments, I am still a sinner.

Saved only by Grace.