5 fun things...

My weekends (and let's be honest---weekdays) have been full of blah work and even blah-er research, data analysis and lean six sigma process maps.

I don't care who you are. These things are NOT fun.

So, this weekend, my mission is to try to throw in as many "fun" things as I can around the overwhelming blah.

1.  Breakfast with Randee (that could be a song from the 80's). I love getting to see Randee! We are very different, and yet very similar. I am growing to love and appreciate our differences as much as I do the similarities that made us friends in the first place...namely: adoption.

2. I am making Lemon Noodle  Bake tomorrow night. And no one's gonna change my mind about it! P.S. I love the Pioneer Woman, let's just get that out in the open. There!! Don't we all feel better now?

3.  I am also going to make Grasshopper Pie. Which means a trip to the liquor store. Where the years of "no-drinking" guilt coupled with my unusually young appearance make me a interesting suspect for sure... Have I ever told ya'll about my guilt ridden trip to buy beer for my Turkey Chili? No?? It's hilariously embarrassing. I had "I'm gonna get caught" written all over my face, haha!! I am better now. This recipe calls for creme de cacao and creme de menthe. I'm not sure how to pronounce them but I know they mean "chocolate" and "mint" so it's all good!!

4.  I am going to start my graduation skirt. I decided a while ago that I wanted to make my graduation outfit (what with all the sewing I do now) and I found an awesome pinwheel skirt tutorial I love. Proof that I wasn't making up my love for tutorials! Anyways, I am really gunnin' to get started on it, and so I will measure and cut this weekend! In related news, this skirt does call for a zipper....which is one of the sewing tasks that I have avoided like the plague. I have watched grown women collapse sobbing in the zipper section. It's do or die out there, folks. So I will let you know when I get to that point so you can all pray for me. I expect all-night vigils!

5. I am going to enjoy the fact that this is a "non-grocery-shopping-weekend" and bask in the  no-trips-to-walmart goodness!

Happy Friday!!

P.S. Don't forget about our 24 hour fast today. We are praying and fasting hardcore for those who are desperately trying to bring their little ones home soon! You can join in!

Join with us!

The timing of God never ceases to amaze me. In my frustration and anxiety, I had forgotten an aspect of my faith that has always proven to strengthen my spirit-man and draw me closer again to Him. So imagine my surprise when reading blogs this morning, I stumbled across THIS call.


When we are joyful and excited, we are not the only people on the earth experiencing that emotion. But sometimes we forget that when we feel discouraged and downtrodden, we are also...not. alone.


After reading Lyndsey's post, I was more certain than ever that this attack of the enemy is not specific to me but rather is an attack on the hope and confidences we have in God to quickly unite our families!


So let's stand together this week. Let's resolve that this attack of the enemy is thwarted, not only for us as individuals, but for us as a corporate body! Nothing makes the enemy happier than hope deferred. Regardless of how it looks.... So let's join with the heart of the Father and stand strong against these attacks that discourage our hearts and confidence.


"Fasting is our body joining with our soul to cry out to God in response to disaster, lack of love or holiness or compassion, the impoverished in the world, sin, death, or the absence of justice or peace or love. Fasting is our bodies NATURAL response to 'grievous sacred moments' in life."

Will you join with us in  a 24 hour fast beginning after dinner on Thursday and lasting through dinner on Friday?

5 Things I can't live without...and feelings.

After recovering from my slight meltdown this afternoon--which was the compilation of pressure at work, pressure at school, self-induced pressure at home and {the eventual "straw that broke the camel's back}....the waitingversary.....I decided to spend this evening thinking about the things that I love.

See, folks, it's not that I have ever forsaken those things I love...but, you know? It's okay to feel. Sometimes my feelings are optimistic and energetic, while other times they are raw and  uncensored. But for all of us? In whatever we feel? That's okay. What's important is that we don't stay there forever.

And if you don't have a safe place to "feel" life...come find me. I will let you let it all out. 

Because I? totally get it.

So, without further ado...my favorite things. For today.

Not included in this list are: My hunk of a husband and the amazing support system that remind me often that I am not defined by what I can---or can not---do.    They are, by far, my heroes.

Gelled body oil from Avon. If you've never had irreparably dry skin, then you won't understand how fabulous this stuff is. My typical winter routine includes the regular good ol' fashioned oil at night and this magnificent specimen (that drys silky smooth instead of crazy oily!) in the mornings after my shower. LOVE.

Biolage Conditioning Balm. I have a LOT of hair (as my hairstylist reminds me every time she has to thin it out) and I  do a LOT of damage to it...which I don't intend to change anytime soon. But this magical stuff? makes me feel brand new! I remember, as a kid, sneaking into my mom's bathroom (sorry, Mom) to use hers...I wasn't allowed to...but let's face it. VO5 was just not cutting it for my main!

Sugar-scrubs. I make my own but you can buy the good stuff too. You just spend a lot more and I go through a LOT of this stuff. I typically go with an energizing scent (Eucalyptus being my fav-o) but whatever floats your boat will work, too. Here is my recipe. Now, go and create! 

My sewing machine. Last night--after a grade A awful day--all I could do was sew. I was thankful to have some release (it was a summer girl's dress, JSYK). I can't imagine how difficult it would be without having a way to release stress. Thank you Jesus for reminding me before my head was spinning!

To all those who create, AND who are able to document those creations for others? Major shout-out props going out to you! I am so thankful for all the creative juices that flow from reading tutorials!

So there you have it!! The 5 things that I can't live without!

How about you?

A painfully clear 5.

For 5 months we have been actively waiting for Baby Smith's referral.

Well. 5 months, yesterday, that is.

I missed it. 

Not that I haven't felt every single painstaking moment of the past 5 months....or even the past 15 months since our journey began.

Because I have. every. single. minute. of. every. single. day.

I have prayed for my child with an unexplainable urgency and fervor since the moment I said "yes" to God's calling.

In fact, I have been praying for ALL orphans since that moment. 

For people who look at us and think we are some kind of saints for adopting....know we're not any different than you. We are simply two people who decided to say "yes".

None of this desperation was there [for me] before that moment. None of this powerful brokenness for the way we have allowed the condition of humanity to deteriorate. In face, I am ashamed to say that none of this passion to help create REAL SOLUTIONS (not just adoption) was even on my radar.

But it was on God's radar.

And He knew that it needed to be on mine, too.

I read a quote earlier that resonated clearly in my heart.

"Adoption is a calling.  Caring for orphans is a mandate.".

We are all expected to care for orphans. In fact, if there is one thing that was dug deep into my soul in my graduate Ethics class, it's this: Human dignity is a right that we all have for no other reason than that we were created in His image. All things should be done for the sake of humanity.

YOU. are expected to actively respect the dignity of humanity. To actively care for the orphans and the widows.the sick and the poor. It's a mandate for us all.

But adoption? Is a calling... And callings? are never easy {Well, maybe yours is...but that hasn't been my experience}. That is one thing that has been made excruciatingly clear to me.

But... I am certain that His rewards are never small, either.

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As I sit here, today.... I am barely holding it together {Update: lost it somewhere between writing and revising}. Not just the pain of waiting (although that is immense)...It's just that sometimes it feels like I have a house of cards balancing very carefully....and any wrong move could send everything I hold dear tumbling down. And I like my house of cards........

If I am being completely honest here.....I have prayed since December for a February referral. Yeah, I know...that wouldn't have even been 5 months waiting. Yes, I know...Iit was ridiculous to build up false hope...and yes, I realize that it's not as if I had heard a "Thus saith the Lord" or anything....

I just? Needed that glimmer of hope, I guess, that {just maybe} we could be that one family who gets the call earlier than expected.

We weren't.

I have learned to accept that I am rarely ever the exception to the rule.

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Trusting in God when everything is easy? Is easy.

Trusting in God when everything is hard? Is hard.

But trusting in God?  is ALWAYS necessary.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride.The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3,7

Today? In the midst of mountains that are tall and roaring waters that seem overwhelming... I am declaring that God is my stronghold. My refuge in despair. The lover of my soul who has never forsaken or forgotten about me. He is my all in all.

But that? Doesn't make it any easier, today.

5 Things On My Mind....

I am strictly doing this for my friend Randee...who is a faithful follower and gives me undeserved coolness by mentioning every now and then that she "misses my blog". It makes me smile when she does such things.

So, here goes the 5 things on my mind...right now, anyways!

1.  Things haven't gone as happily along as we had hoped on the adoption front (but we are praising God for other families that have accepted and are waiting to meet their new children). We are praying that God would continue to have favor on our process and that we could be united with our little guy or gal as soon as He sees fit! No matter what the story, we trust that He is still sovereign and we are constantly reminding ourselves that He hasn't forgotten about us here. When you think about it, please pray for families adopting, as it is sometimes can feel like we are wandering alone in the desert land.

2.  I am excited about JBF coming back to town and my ability to get into the pre-sale this weekend! I am more prepared than  I was last time, as I know what I am looking for AND that curling up in the fetal position will get me NOWHERE in the masses of crazed moms! There was seriously no mercy in that building. But this time? Stoller section....I will own you.

3.  My husband is leading worship this Sunday at the church I grew up in (shout out GFCC!). I don't get to go. Dumb graduate school project.

4. Speaking of graduate school....4 more weeks. That's it... Unless, of course, the whiney people win out and get the presentations backed up a week to make up for snow...an idea of  which I ? am not in favor of. It will be nice to be done. To actually NOT have stuff to work on all the time, as opposed to my current system of just ignoring those things by sticking my fingers in my ears and shouting "Lalalalalalalalalalalala..I can't heeeeear you". 

Yes, that will be nice.

I can already hear the playing of 'Pomp and Circumstance' in my head every time I think about it!

5.  I just finished reading There Is No Me Without You. It. Was. Riveting. I was actually really disappointed when the book ended. I highly recommend you read it...but don't read it without a huge box of tissues, or maybe some chocolates..or mashed potatoes...we all grieve different, afterall.

Don't judge me, I am an emotional eater.....as confirmed on WebMD.

So, that's where I am today. Just trekking along...answering the phone with anticipation every time it's an area code I don't recognize and then throwing it down in anger every time it's an automated call (dumb telemarketers using up time the agency might need).

It's not pretty. But it's truth.

Happy Friday to all!