#Ashleys31RAOK recap

Saturday was my birthday (singing ensues...)

Several weeks ago, I had what has turned into quite the awesome idea.

I created a Facebook event, so it would be legit.

I created a #hashtag. Because of my ongoing adoration of all things #hashtag

I invited every.single.friend on Facebook....despite how annoying that may have been.

And I asked them only one thing.

Because you have all been so blessed by my presence on this Earth I kid, I kid

Celebrate my birthday by joining my mission to spread kindness. Do one...or as many as you want... random act of kindness RAOK on March 22.

And do you want to know what happened?

HUNDREDS of Random  Completely Intentional Acts of Kindness

People looking for opportunities to spread love and joy and kindness. Small things. Big things. Anonymous things. Face-to-face things.

And I was overwhelmed.

I mean. Seriously. Overwhelmed.

A small coalition. All over the country. Just being kind to one another.

We could really be on to something!!!

My personal goal was 31 different random completely intentional acts of kindness for my 31st birthday. One friend argued that if I counted based on the number of "touches", then probably the number was much higher...But nevertheless, my goal was 31 different acts of kindness!!

It was exhausting and exhilarating all at the same time. We were eyes peeled everywhere we went looking for any additional opportunity to spread love.

It was so perfect. I can't recommend any better way to spend your birthday!

And when you get your village involved?

What you find is that they are creative and boldly generous people...paying for groceries and meals for large families...giving flowers out at random, only to find that that person had just experienced great loss...seeing true gratitude at small gestures like bus tickets and a bottle of water...loving on each other...strangers...friends...neighbors. These are the world-changers.

It's a magical feeling.

Thank you to my friends, family, new friends, and strangers who all joined with me to show kindness on March 22nd. You have given me the most awesome birthday ever...so add that to your acts of kindness list!!

Here is the list of what my family ventured out to accomplish--along with several pictures (reader beware)

And we're off!

Thank you cards for military

Cards for hospitalized children

Coffee gift card for security officer

Money taped to vending machine

Gift for mailman

Coffee/breakfast for homeless

Donation to local mission

Change on the meters

Stuffed animals for traumatized kids

Cookies for police officers

Change at Laundromat

      Large tip and inspirational note for waitress

      Donation to adoptive family garage sale fundraiser

      Change hidden on playground

Quarters in gumball machines

Popcorn/$1 taped to Redbox

Bus passes given to people waiting at Bus stops

       

      Moved wayward carts to store

      

       Donation to Ronald McDonald House

Inspiration notes left in books

$1 left in children’s books

Donated $5 to boy scouts raising $ for camp

Flowers and notes on random cars

Notes of encouragement and prayer left on cars at the hospital

Gift basket left in surgery waiting room at hospital

Paid for the meal for the car behind us in the drive-thru

      Held the door open for people all day, whenever the chance was there

      GS cookies hidden at Library

      Left "You are beautiful" notes on mirrors in various bathroom locations

      Loaded groceries for elderly shoppers and returned carts for them  

        Made dog beds out of old pillows and donated to SPCA

   And this thing just keeps spreading! Love, kindness, generosity. These are the things worth making a stand for.  Thank you to everyone who made a stand for kindness this week!

In completely unrelated news.  I got bangs.

My short arms keep me from being able to jump on the "selfie" bandwagon.
You're welcome.

An Open Letter to Teenage Girls: Just Hang On.

Dear Beautiful, Strong, Confident Young Women (you might not believe it...but it's who you are),

I know it may seem like I couldn't possibly understand...try to bear with me. It wasn't that long ago that I walked those same hallways. Only yesterday that I was dealing with so many of the horrific painful struggles that you are dealing with today.

And I can't help but think it's not fair...

Not fair that every bad choice you make in this season of finding yourself?  is potentially broadcast to the world.

Not fair that society has opened up entire new worlds of vulnerability and destructive opportunities.

Not fair that-- as you're blossoming into adults and traversing all that this season requires of you-- you're also required to think about how every decision you make today might affect your life in 15 years...

But listen.

Life has ALWAYS been that way. I am sure if our mothers could have blogged, they would have blogged their bewilderness over our feather pens, knee-high socks and mary-janes...Our music and dance styles....
Please don't ask. You don't want to know.

So when I ask to trust me that this season is fleeting? Well, that's nothing new.

Which is why that's not what I'm going to do.

Instead? I'm going to tell you a story.

This is a story about a girl who walked through some hard stuff. Humiliating stuff. Painful stuff. Vulnerable stuff.

The stuff of private letters being passed through the halls. The stuff of inadequacy. The hurts of not being wanted...Oh, how we just want to be wanted...

This is a girl who lived in a small pond... in a house made of glass. Where nothing was hidden and no-one was safe. 

This girl who felt like she was trapped in a room with all her imperfections and mistakes and shortcomings screaming at her from the walls closing in around her.

This girl who wanted what she thought everyone else had. Perfection.

This girl...who thought that this was her story. That if she couldn't succeed here? She'd never succeed anywhere.

But this girl, with all this insecurity? Came out of the forest that is High School and found herself stronger, wiser, confident, and sure of the person she wanted to be...

And at the end of the day, that is what you're doing.

You're deciding each day what kind of human being you are going to choose to be in this life.

How are you going to treat other human beings?

What is going to be important to you?

Who are you going to be?

And what legacy are you going to leave?

It may feel impossible to find your way in the dark place that High School can be....

But remember....this is a shadow... a small shadow of a small tree in a small forest that feels immense today.

Because the life you are intended to live will put all those insecurities on a back shelf of memories that made you stronger.

Because the person you have the chance to be is brave and  courageous and would never allow another person to determine how you feel or what you accomplish.

Because, God isn't looking at your circumstances...At this season of your life, thinking to himself.
"Oh no, I picked the wrong girl"

Who's to say that this very thing isn't the propeller that pushes you into the next great season of you life? Who's to say that your most beautiful thing isn't right around the next corner...if you can only hold on.

So here I am, a gangly and homely 14 year old girl who desperately wanted acceptance...begging you to hang on. 

Hang on for dear life.

And discover yours along the way.

The Path

You see...

When you say "Yes" to God. It doesn't always end up the way you thought it would.

We learned that lesson the only way one truly learns it-- the hard way-- years ago.

And after that season had passed and we could see the whole piece of our lives mural that God was working on? 

Those rough brush strokes and black paint made sense.  

But this truth remains... That refining fire?

Is still going to burn.

So in the last 18 months as we journeyed with faith and frustration and worry and doubt and longing and love, we've guarded our hearts.

But we continued to say Yes.

We waited for God to do whatever He had in mind to do.

And we were still.

It was painful. And hard. And frustrating. And I wanted more control. Any control

But we remained. 

Still.

So when the call came this time.... the one that we always were sort of waiting on.

It simply confirmed our initial suspicions. The thoughts that had lingered as we walked out the last 18 months.

We had been called to be advocates. To pray and love from afar. And to fight for her story. her truth. Her best plan.

We had not been called to be her family.

*******************

But there it remains.

That desire. That love. That longing.

We ARE someone's family.

This desire in our hearts for a home filled with laughter and noise and brothers and sisters growing up together.

That gnawing in our souls that the need is still great. And while this path isn't for everyone, we are confident it is for us.

The passion for children to be tucked in at night, kissed and hugged, loved with the love that only a family can give.

These things?  did not come from the natural order of life.

They came from the refining fire.

So while we can barely see the next step in front of us.

We are confident we're still on the right path.


“I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”-Isaiah 48:17

Lost.

Have you ever been lost?

You know, truly and completely uncertain about your surroundings or which way to turn to get where you want to be...

It can be debilitating.

It can be confusing.

It can be downright scary.

I grew up in a small rural town in the South. My playground was the woods behind our house and the creek a few miles away. 

I remember being gone from sun-up to sundown playing in those woods. Running barefoot down the dirt road because my old tennis shoes were soaked from playing in the creek. Eating berries off the side of the road. Climbing trees so high I could see for miles and miles. Discovering new places and new adventures all the time.

But I don't ever remember being lost. 

Strange, isn't it? I rarely knew where I was...
but I always knew where I was...

When I think about my life now? My dreams? My "plans"? I often get distracted by the steps involved. When I don't know what step comes next, I immediately become frozen with fear.

And I can't help but wonder...at what point in my life did not knowing where I was stop being a new adventure? When did I become so afraid of the unknown?

I sit here confused. Because to tell you the truth...there are no balls in the air. There are so many things I want to do in life and I? just don't know which way to turn to get there. And I wish I saw it as a new adventure. I wish I could see myself as an explorer discovering new seasons in life. 

I want to be that person.

But more often than not, I stand in front of the mirror and remind myself that God will never let you miss His destiny for you if you are seeking Him.

And yet, that doesn't mean it's going to happen today.

That's why it's called Faith.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1 (NIV 2011)

Guest Post in honor of National Foster Care Month

Hey guys! Today I am so excited to share a guest post by my friend Lindsy! I love her heart for foster care and I have been so gripped recently by the mis-education out there about foster care and even adopting children from hard places. All I know is that we need more families ready to stand in the gap for these babies! In honor and celebration of National Foster Care Month, Lindsy has done an amazing Foster Care series over at Word from the Wallaces that I HIGHLY recommend you check out when you're done here!

Take it away, Lindsy!

*****************

I'm excited and honored to be sharing our foster care journey and a bit of my heart for orphans with you today! God may have this post specifically for you OR this may not be your calling.

Do whatever He is calling YOU to. He is calling you to something!

Let's start here ----> We never intended to be foster parents. It was not on our radar or any to-do list. We began the process of international adoption in 2009. We ended up with two biological kiddos and continued our pursuit of international adoption. Foster care literally never entered our minds.


My thinking was along the lines of "Kids in the US have roofs over their heads, clothes on their backs and food in their tummies. Their parents are not dying of AIDS at alarming rates and they are not dying themselves of dirty water. The needs of children overseas are greater." (I. WAS. WRONG.)


Flash forward to 2012. Through a series of events only God could orchestrate, we became involved with a local family in need. We stepped in to care for the children for a short season so their mother could position herself to properly care for her kids.


And that's when God went to work on our hearts.

We learned early on in our placement with the boys that they might not be leaving anytime soon. In fact, it became apparent they would likely be going into foster care. Since we were not certified foster parents, that would have meant them being pulled from our house and moved into a state certified foster home.


He re-wrote our story to include the American orphan. God knew we needed to see it for ourselves, in our own living room. So we became foster parents.


He showed us how the effects of neglect, abuse and trauma in the United States are NO different than the effects of neglect, abuse and trauma in Africa or Haiti. He opened our eyes to the 500,000 orphans in our own country who will go to bed tonight as wards of the state. He taught us that while yes, children in third world countries are more likely to be on the streets in the only shirt they own begging for food and living in a carboard box beacuase their parents are dead or dying, the effect parentlessness has on them is no greater than the effect of parentlessness on orphans right "here".


Their needs are the same. The same as children in Africa. Children in Russia, India and Haiti. The need for lovers of Jesus to fight for the American orphan is the same.

There are currently over 100,000 children in the US foster care system who are legally available for adoption. Did you know that? One year ago I did not.

There are a lot of myths regarding foster care and adopting from the foster system. Unfortunately, the only stories that receive media attention are ones where a birth parent shows up years later and demands their kid back. Or stories of kids who linger in the states care for years and years.


While these things do happen, they are not the norm. More importantly, the system may be broken, but God is sovereign.


The state's job is to protect children but the state cannot and does not nurture children and point them to the only One who can heal him. His Bride must do that. If not us, then who?

If you'd like to learn more about foster care or adoption in your state visit Focus on the Family.

Lindsy and her husband William live in Kentucky with their four preschoolers and are anxiously awaiting the arrival of a toddler from Africa. She blogs about orphan care and Jesus at word from the wallaces.

[Memorial Day] Gratitude.

My FIL fought in Vietnam. For most of my husband's life, he says he rarely heard much about his dad's time in Vietnam. All we knew was that very few guys from his group made it home. And the ones who did were forever changed.  

As he's gotten older, he'll periodically share with us bits and pieces from his life there... A few years ago, the traveling wall came to our town and FIL came to see it. You see, most of his friends are on that wall. Rows of them, in fact, were people whose names alone flooded his mind with memories. That weekend, we were also able to visit one of the men who served with him and I think those things combined opened the floodgate.

I learned more about him in that weekend than I have in the 13 years I've known him combined.

We, often times, become so desensitized to hearing of fallen soldiers oversees... Almost as if it's so far away that we have convinced ourselves it's not real.

But it is. Real.

Each name on the news is a son or daughter. Someone's husband/wife. Fathers and mothers. Beloved sisters and brothers.

Friends.

Heroes.

Thank You just seems so cheap compared to the sacrifices made. Both by our hero soldiers...and their families...

Thank You. Just isn't a worthy response when so much is given and taken.

When I think about each person who joins our armed forces and takes the call to fight for freedom. So dearly loved by so many. So brave and courageous?

My heart is filled with a gratitude I don't have words to describe.

Recently, as we prayed for the family of a fallen hero, Marvel asked if this soldier was like Captain America.

"Better" I replied, "because he didn't have special powers or superhuman strength. He was brave and courageous all on his own...in his own skin.  He was truly a Super-hero".

A few days later, we saw a man in uniform in the grocery store. Marvel whispered to me "Look, mom...a superhero soldier!" with awe and admiration. 
Had he not been in the middle of a conversation, we would have stopped to thank him..I told Marvel we would thank each and every soldier we saw from now on

Each and every member of our armed forces are superheros. Brave and Courageous in the face of danger. 

So, as we mark a day of remembrance to our fallen heroes..I, humbly, with more respect than I can even describe.. say Thank you.

Thank you to the men and women who daily risk their lives for freedom. Who put on a uniform that asks them to be willing to give their lives for ours.

Thank you to the families who courageously await the return of their beloved soldiers.

Thank you to the husbands and wives who keep their families running smoothly during a long and hard deployment.

Thank you to the moms and dads who hold back tears and lumps in their throats as their hero tells them they are joining the military.

Thank you to those who have come home with battles to face again.

Thank you to those who live with physical---and invisible---reminders of the toll of war.

And Thank you. Thank you... to the heroes whose lives {here} ended on the battlefield.

We honor you. We celebrate you. We thank you.

A few thoughts from the mobility-impaired

Congrats to Valerie!! 

She won the Huge Book Giveaway and is all set with her spring reading!!

1.  When I broke my ankle, my old college roommate suggested I go ahead and get a knee scooter....Every ounce of pride I had left said No Way. Not Gonna Happen.  And then it was exhausting trying to get to the bathroom twenty feet from the couch and getting my own nutrients from the kitchen was near impossible.

Enter Knee Scooter.  It's amazing what being able to go to the bathroom alone does to someones perspective.

2.  I've really been wishing I'd gotten a pedicure before my skydiving adventure...I can't reach my foot now and am still debating the hilarity of going to get a [modified] pedicure anyways! 

3.   I've been blessed with some amazing friends and family! Both my Mother in law and Mom spent several days here post-surgery, friends have been shuttling Marvel around and done more than their fair share..and The Husband. Well, that man deserves a trophy. And a vacation!

4.  Bear with me if things are quiet around here for a while! I'm still on some pretty heavy meds and while my mobility is limited, what I can do is terribly exhausting so I still sleep a lot more than normal!!  

I promise to keep you updated!! Thank you for all the love and prayers!!

A {Life-Transforming} Book Giveaway!!

Hey everyone!  This week I am teaming up with a few of my friends to do an awesome book giveaway!! 

 Each of us were asked to choose a book that had changed or deeply impacted our lives and one lucky winner will receive a copy of EACH of our book choices! That's right, 5 amazing books!!!  For my book choice, I chose the Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne!

“Only Jesus would be crazy enough to suggest that if you want to become the greatest, you should become the least. Only Jesus would declare God's blessing on the po0r rather than on the rich and would insist that it's not enough to just love your friends. I just began to wonder if anybody still believed Jesus meant those things he said.” Shane Claiborne

I fell into this book....or more accurately, stumbled across it.  I was not looking for a book to further destroy my comfortable complacency ..but alas, here it was.

 You see, I was busy being destroyed by McCall's book pick, Seven,  when I decided to dig deeper. I determined that if I was to truly be transformed by a book--I wanted to know all I could about what had wrecked the author of my destruction. 

And there, in that digging, I found The Irresistible Revolution.

I wish I could describe the depth of conviction I had and the adrenaline that coursed through my veins to affect change in my community after finishing this book...but I know that it was truly a personal experience.

I hope that The Irresistible Revolution brings you to that same place of challenge.

To do more for the least.

To be there for our neighbors.

To transform your world into God's Kingdom on Earth.

“Maybe we are a little crazy. After all, we believe in things we don't see. The Scriptures say that faith is "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Heb. 11:1). We believe poverty can end even though it is all around us. We believe in peace even though we hear only rumours of wars. And since we are people of expectation, we are so convinced that another world is coming that we start living as if it were already here.”  Shane Claiborne

        If you want to read even more about this amazingly dangerous book, check out Amazon's book description Here!  

 So as you can see, I believe that The Irresistible Revolution is one of those books that can truly transform your life!! And I want to share it with you!!! Here's how you can enter to win this and 4 other life-changing books!!!

Using the Rafflecopter below, you can get an entry for following my blog and another entry for commenting on this post!  Then head over to my friends pages to learn all about their favorite book picks and enter there as well!!!  That gives you a total of 10 chances to win 5 amazing life-changing books!!!!

Lyndsy at Word from the Wallaces;                McCall at Finding Our Way;   

Tiffany at Stuff and Things;                           Wynn at Gloriously Ruined

a Rafflecopter giveaway


And here's a glimpse of the book collection you can win this week! Winners will be announced this weekend! 

What are you waiting for?!?!

Birthday Fail.

Easter weekend started out with all the usual beauty!

Celebrating our Resurrected Lord. Our church has an amazing multimedia production that {I believe} is really second to none and we were so excited for Marvel to get to see it with us. Easter is the season that messes me up and during the production, as I was sobbing...my gentle and amazing son reached over and said "It's ok, Mom...it isn't over yet...He will Rise!"   Out of the mouths of babes...  Needless to say, I was a proud puddle of blubbering mess after that!

Next, we were on our way to a town about an hour north for my big Birthday present!! I'd been looking forward to this day for months and after 4 (FOUR!) reschedules, the weather was beautiful and I was PUMPED to finally celebrate turning 30 properly!!

Next was....well... slightly less planned.  I often laugh because I consider myself semi-adventurous and pretty close to fearless...and yet.  

I am the most accident prone person you will ever meet. My poor tandem instructor had a spotless record. Over 1500 tandem jumps and no one had ever broken a bone.   Well, he obviously just hadn't met the right beginner yet.

Yep.

I managed to break not one...but TWO! bones in my ankle when I messed up the landing.

Surgery is scheduled for Friday so if I am MIA a while (or my posts seem especially medicated ha!) you'll all know why!!

Please don't hesitate to say a prayer for me when you think about it! My poor husband is single-parenting it for a while and once the adrenaline wore off, I was able to determine that broken ankles HURT!!! :-)

For the Love

If you've guys been around here very long, you've heard me talk about how Hard the adoption journey is.

There are so many tools we have to carry around with us -all the time- as adoptive parents...ready to whip them out at a moment's notice.

Tools for healing and helping our kiddos navigate feelings.

Tools for diffusing situations.

Tools for building attachment.

Tools for food issues, sleep issues, ownership issues...

The list goes on and on and on....

My friends in the adoption-world often joke about kidnapping taking Dr. Purvis home with us from one of her conferences so she can just do it for us... She's really good, ya'll. {and it's exhausting.}

But while all of those tools are needed and incredibly useful in helping bring our children healing.

They are no substitute for Love.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear" 1 John 4:18(a)

Now, I don't claim to have perfect love. I get annoyed and frustrated  and angry. And I yell more than I mean to and apologize more than I wish I had to.

But...there are times when I can see how my love for Marvel is the vessel God is using to blanket him in perfect Perfect Love.

We took a lot of pictures of Marvel sleeping when he got home. Partly because we were doting first-time parents who took pictures of every remotely cute thing he did (in-turn, we created a monster, ha!)

But partly? because sleep did not come easy for our sweet Marvel. It was a time of vulnerabilty and an opportunity for fear to come roaring out. Awake and asleep.  It was here when fear was its strongest that I saw the power of Love.

Many nights, in the early season of Marvel sleeping in our room, he would wake up overwhelmed with fear and I would reach down and rub his back or hold his hand. As he gripped my hand in his and slowly drifted back into desperately-needed rest, I saw that Love. Perfect Love that only our Heavenly Father can pour out. Was more powerful than even the deepest, most rooted fears.

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

You see...Love doesn't erase the sins. It doesn't get rid of the hard stuff or make any of those things disappear, the way we might want it to.

But. It does release us from the power those things have over us. Deep Love, Perfect Love. brings us the strength we need to walk through the hard things without being overtaken by them.

It covers us. It empowers us. It heals us.

Today I am linking up over at:

{Spotlight Series} The Wallace Family

I'm so excited to continue with the Fundraising Family Spotlight Series and to introduce my new friend Lindsy and her beautiful family!

The Wallaces are the featured family this week in the Give1Save1 campaign and I'm so excited to share with the world their amazing story and help them raise the $$ they need! Please consider joining with us by supporting the Wallaces this week over at Give1Save1 where each $1 makes a difference! You can read all about their adoption journey Here and while you're there please check out their store and all the other cool ways you can become part of their village!!

The Wallace Family - Adoption Story from William H. Wallace II on Vimeo.

Oh, and while you're here...please watch this amazing video they've made about their adoption story!! Best video ever! :-)

Dear Friday

Here you are....

boasting of sunshine and spring weather that will surely pass quickly by returning us to weekend chill.

You bring with you anticipation and dancing dreams of sleeping in. Of relaxation. Of rest.

And yet, looking forward beyond your horizon to soccer games. tball practices. birthday parties.

I know that {in all reality} you lead us into the busiest and most hectic hours of our week.

Yet I long for the days that you usher in with you.

Days when we are together, enjoying life. bracing the weather.

When fun and family rule the hours and sleep and cuddles abound as effortlessly as the laundry.

And so, while your dancing sugarplum fairies are nothing more than illusions on the horizon...I'm okay with that.

Our reality is pretty good, too.

Thank you Friday. Welcome.

Linking up with Traded Dreams today for the Open Letter Campaign