10.

I haven't blogged much lately.

There really just hasn't been much to say.

But when I started thinking about hitting 10 months on the waiting list, a lot of different things to say started coming to mind... Things like:

I never imagined we would still be waiting for an OLDER child at 10 months.

and Waiting doesn't get easier just because you've done it for a while.

and I'm not so sure I am cut out for this anymore.

But even with all those thoughts? I couldn't get this one song out of my head... It's an old (heh...okay 1990s) Charismatic song from the Brownsville Revival days for those of you who know it, a song that talks about taking back what belongs to you:

Well, I went to the enemy's camp and I took back what he stole from me.
I took back what he stole from me. I took back what he stole from me.

I went to enemy's camp and I took back what he stole from me

He's under my feet.
He's under my feet.
Satan is under my feet.

Now I know as well as anyone that adoption is not God's first plan...but it IS His redemptive plan..and the bureaucracy that slows down children being placed into families is nothing short of the enemy's attack on redemption. I may not be able to control much in this process but I can control the fervor and urgency with which I pray. I can bring my petitions to the Lord and I believe He is faithful to move on my behalf. I can pray that no action of man or enemy could get in the way of setting the lonely into families. I can fervently bring my requests before my Father, much like Hannah did. She didn't stop just because nothing changed right away. In fact, her prayers became more fervent, more desperate, more evident of faith...I, too, can "pour out my soul to the Lord" (1 Samuel 1:15) in expectation.

You see, that song? It comes from a story about King David in 1 Samuel (chapter 30).King David and his men had returned home to find that the enemy had taken everything. They had burned their tents and their land and kidnapped their families. His men, distressed and fatigued, had no other ideas than to stone David. They were out of their minds (who wouldn't be?). But David, strong in the Lord, had the presence of mind to say "The enemy may think it's over becuase they destroyed what was ours. You may think it's over because everything is in the enemy's hand. But I? Don't think it's over until God says it's over"  He sought the Lord's wisdom and the Lord told him to pursue the enemy and take back what was theirs.

They could have waited. They could have sat quietly for the Lord to bring back what was taken. Then again...they might still be waiting. Their families needed their pursuit. God honors our pursuit.

David had to fight to get back what belonged to him.

And we have to fight to get back what belongs to us.

Adoption? Is a God thing.  It belongs to God. Frankly,  I am tired of the evil and the corruption and the bureaucracy that has seemed to work its way into these stories of redemption. Bottom line is, there ARE children who need families. Their lives have been struck by a tragedy that nothing short of God can heal. Adoption doesn't wipe away that tragedy in any way, shape, or form. But leaving them without a family to protect them, to love them, and to steward them? That's leaving it all in the enemy's camp.

You see, there's another part to this story....As David and his men began to travel the distance to fight for what was theirs, a third of his men dropped out. They were too fatigued to keep fighting. They were too weary to pursue any longer. Their families were waiting in the balance and they didn't have it in them to fight anymore???

Kind of feels like month 10 in a 6-8 month wait.

But, I don't want to be like those men.

When I get back what belongs to the Kingdom? I want to know that I was like David. I want to know that I was one who never stopped fighting. I may not be able to physically go, but I know without doubt that my fervent prayers availeth much (James 5:16)

And yours do too.

So whether you are in this fight with me or you are willing to jump in on our behalf now (which we welcome whole-heartedly)?  The fight isn't over just because the enemy took something. It's not over just because of paperwork errors, and evil and greedy men, process slowdowns, and long unexplainable waits.

It's not over until God says its over.

And that's not what I heard today.

I am fighting for my family. And I am not about to drop out at the 10th mile.