The World Needs To Know...

I decided today that the world needed to hear some of the things I have heard in my tenure as a youth pastor...Teenagers are rotten...I mean, not YOURS....other peoples teenagers...you probably know one......



1. "I bet David Crowder was a real hippie back in his day"
             

(David Crowder is in his early 30's, ya'll)

2. "Why can't we take our cell phones to church camp?!"
              "Because Jesus couldn't take HIS cell phone to church camp."
    "Yeaahh....but Jesus? Didn't have facebook!"


3.  "Are you the same age as Jesus was when he was preaching?"
               "No, Jesus was just a few years older than me."
     "But...then he died. Right?"

(Not of natural causes, though, you rotten punk!)

4.  "We think you should start thinking about kids, Ash, because your biological clock is probably ticking by now."
              

(Why don't you go ahead and run me over, while your at it)

5.  "Why can't we do XYZ again this summer?!?!"
               "Because last year you didn't have "ANY" fun at all"
     "I NNEEEVVEERR said that!"
               "Really? Let's go ask your mother?"
     "Well, maybe I said it THEENN..But I don't mean it NOW-ah!"
               
6.  "What does W.W.J.D. mean and why do you always say it? It's annoying."

(No, seriously, go ahead and run me over..Oh wait? You can't drive)

Things I no longer allow:
Prayers that go "Thank you Jesus for this day and this time together. Amen"
Answers including: "Pray", "Read my Bible", and "Go to church"


Teens are professional cop-outs. They give answers like that ALL. THE. TIME. Even when it doesn't apply...to which I respond? 

"What would Jesus do, ya'll?"


The End.