Hi Everyone

Like the change? 

Yah? 

Thanks! I am having a REALLY fun time reformatting all the pictures on ALL the posts I have ever written. 

Because, guess what? 

NONE OF THEM FORMATTED CORRECTLY.

So. Much. Fun.

So. Glad. I. Changed. My. Blog.

Goodbye 'til my blood pressure normalizes,

Ashley

Clean Everything

 How many of you out there ENJOY cleaning? 

Love it so much you can't wait for another opportunity to clean...to dust...to launder? 

If you do, we probably aren't friends. 

If you do and we ARE friends? Well, you should probably keep your secret? A secret.

Because I? HATE it. All of it. I don't like vacuuming. I don't like dusting. I REALLY don't like dishes. And laundry. And really? the list goes on. and on.

But I do it. Pretty often. Why? Because it makes my house pleasing. Pleasing to others. And pleasing to myself. Even when we manage to KEEP the house clean (yah right!) there are still things that will NEED to be cleaned! Dusting. Vacuuming. Those are just things that will need to be done EVEN IF YOUR HOUSE looks clean.

And with this home-visit coming up?? *shudders*. I really REALLY want my house to be pleasing to our social worker. I want it to look like it's safe and clean for children. And I really want it to meet the requirements of the study! So I clean. And I keep cleaning. Until I am sure no windowsill is left un-dusted, no towel left un-laundered.

Today? I got to thinking...

Our hearts are much like our houses. Cleaning isn't any fun. It's no fun to check the deep crevices of our lives for dirt and grime. Unforgiveness. Bitterness. Rejection. Anger.  BUT? When we do it. Our "house" becomes pleasing to God. It becomes a safe and acceptable place for his presence to dwell. A place that "meets the requirements". A place that can be peaceful and MUCH MORE EASILY MAINTAINED!

I know that when my house AND my heart are clean. I am so much more peaceful. content. trusting. loving. and open. All things I wish I had more of in my life...

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me." 

Psalm 51:10

And I mean it, God! I really mean it!!

So while I am taking this time to clean my house, I encourage you to use this as an opportunity to check your hearts. Because the only way God can live there? Is if it's a clean. 

And I know? I want a clean heart AND a clean house!

'Til everything's clean,

Ashley

The light at the end of the tunnel...

 

Have you ever heard the saying "There's a light at the end of the tunnel"? 

I have. Especially lately. Graduate School, International Adoption....people are so happy (and sincere) when they say "You're halfway there? Must be so nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel!" or "Home-study? That's awesome, guess you can see the light at the end of the tunnel now?" 

But truthfully, I have struggled with that.

Because from right in the middle of the tunnel? 

You can't see anything.

And because sometimes? It doesn't seem like a tunnel at all--- It seems like a forest.

I still have a year left of graduate school and at least a year left waiting for our child (Ha! You thought nine months was hard!!) and as a sometimes-pessimist ....er....realist, all I can see is how much tunnel, forest, mountain I have left to traverse. Sometimes? That alone gives me indigestion...er...well, actually it does!

But, for those of you full of encouragement and kind words? It's NOT your fault. This is my problem. And one I need to hand over.

Because MY GOD? says that he will be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105). So even in the middle of tunnel. Even when I can no longer see the beginning and I certainly can't see the ending. Even when the brush and thorns are all that surround me, all that I know? 

 I can see my next step. Because God? Won't let me stumble through the darkness without hope, without strength, without grace. 

Sometimes we have forests to walk through in life. And if we are lucky? All we have to get through is a man-made tunnel--with no thorns and brush and scary shadows. But it's in those times that we have to trust God to light our next step. Because even when the END? seems so far away? 

God is walking with us.He never has. And he never will. Make you walk them out alone.

'Til I see the end of the tunnel.

Ashley

There is nothing to fear but fear itself...and wasps.

Irrational:  ir·ra·tion·al   adj.

a. Not endowed with reason.

b. Affected by loss of usual or normal mental clarity; incoherent, as from shock.

c. Marked by a lack of accord with reason or sound judgment:

I hate wasps. And there isn't a rational analysis in the world that can change that, so don't even try. I have found no useful contribution that is worth having these "winged assassins" flying around disrupting my peaceful world. Case in point? This morning. This morning was a beautiful, sunny, happy morning. Until a wasp CAME IN UNINVITED and began reeking havoc on my home as I was trying to leave for work. I might have just left, but I was too afraid that the consequence would be coming home to an extremely angry yellow jacket and two dead cats. So I got out my can of poison and I cowered behind walls, spraying him every time he passed by me. Which angered him, and caused him to chase me. Which caused me to run into the bathroom and hide. Once I was confident that he was no longer prowling for me outside the bathroom door, I got myself together and attempted to rid my home of this winged beast once and for all. After a few more attempts, I finally was able to spray him with enough poison to bring him down. I breathed a sigh of relief, took an advil, and headed off for work.

But on the way, all I could think is "You have dominion over all the land and beasts of the land, and yet you can't keep it together around a little wasp?" and with this upcoming home-study visit and all the books I have been inhaling over the past few months...I suddenly became very concerned about whether or not I could/would pass this very irrational behavior of mine (attached to my incredibly rational fear of wasps) to my kids? My mom wasn't afraid of wasps, that I recall. In fact? my fears came from my own personal experiences with wasps and not anything I picked up on from ANYONE else...BUT, that said, if a child had been around to see my complete loss of reason and mental clarity this morning?? Well. that might be a different story.

So, I'm curious today. What fear causes you to act completely irrational? And what, if anything, have you done about it? And, have you seen similar behaviors in your kiddos? And, hey...you stalkers out there who don't publicly "follow" this blog? Yeah, you. I would love to hear your fears too. You can comment under anonymous and put your name at the end of your comment!

P.S. Because I love you, and because I had a rough morning, and because ALL wasps are bad, I leave you with this:

 

Even comics couldn't find a way to make wasps the "good guy"

1980's Rock Band "W.A.S.P" And while that qualifies as "enough said"

They also were originially called "The Winged Assassins".

I can feel it. He's coming for me. *Shudders*

Til all the wasps are gone,

 Ashley

Answered Prayers

We are so excited! This morning was our first Home Study interview (and our social worker was just the greatest thing ever) and our second individual interviews/ home visit is scheduled for June 1st. She was so apologetic about the delay in getting started (and had a pretty good reason, I might add) and mentioned that she would try to make up for it on this end of things! All I could think was "Give me something to do and I am happy!"

It was overall a great visit and we are looking forward to getting the dreaded home visit out of the way. This week will certainly be full of paper-writing, laundry-finishing, room-cleaning, redecorating madness! Hope I survive it all!

In other news, I won't have time to repaint/re-decorate the office before the visit so I am simply waiting to start. So, those of you jumping at the bits to help me paint a few rooms, will just have to hold your horses a little longer... Unless you just want to do it FOR me, in which case, I will leave a key out for you =)

'Til the cows come home,

*Ash*